Molestation/Getting over the Shame and Guilt
Hey, it's me again I just wanted to say that I have messaged her saying that I apologize for wrestling with her/picking on her when we were younger. She said that it's okay but I still feel wrong like I didn't tell her why I was sorry, I want to ask her if she has any thing she wants to say but I don't wanna say I'm sorry because I humped you.. that's kind of weird
I never penetrated her or anything I just dry humped her and I might of smelled her crotch but I don't think I even did that it happened so long ago I don't even remember it perfectly, only time she was clothless was a time she wasn't wearing a shirt or pants she just hand underwear on but I didn't think of it as sexual I just wanted to hump because it felt good, I never groped her or anything just play fought and I didn't think of her being naked to be a problem because I didn't care because I didn't ever try to see her junk or anything
I don't know what to do because I do suffer from OCD and I tell myself that I've been forgiven and I forgive myself but I still feel shameful for some reason even though I knew it was me just being a sexually curios/horny kid.. I truly need some insight on this
Calvin, you didn't mention the OCD previously. All the more reasons to go to the EFT site and learn about some easy, drug-free therapy that might change your world. And if it doesn't, at least it causes no harm in the process
Search for "EFT and your city" in a search engine to find someone nearby who can assist you in learning this powerful healing work.
Another modality which may be useful for you, but might be harder to find a source for is the ACCESS BARS technique. Go to www.accessconsciousness.com site for details and to locate a practitioner in your area.
As far as the girl goes, you can ask her if there are any bad memories of you that have stuck in her mind or if she felt uncomfortable in any way, when you were "playing" with her. Five year- olds love to run around naked, anyway, so that was just her normal way of being at that age. If she has nothing further to add, consider that you have asked for forgiveness and received it.
You are still judging your immature actions with your mature mind. Check out the EFT and ACCESS BARS sites for some assistance to help you release this negative energy and self-critical feelings.