Molestation/My daughter 19 years old
My daughter now 19, just left for an internship for 3 weeks, meanwhile my son came to us 2 nights ago, to tell us that her sister told him that from age 8 to 16 her step-grandfather had sexually molested her. I have no more details about the topic, I do not how to address this, My parents currently leave out of the country for the last 3 years but are planning to come back in 2 months, I don't know if this is why she felt the need to start speaking up, My instinct as a reiki practitioner tells me she has not been molested, is more an interpretation of a caress from 2 cultures, I mean I am very Latin so are my parents from Colombia, but she was born and raise in the states and sees certain affections differently, Am I wrong? how do I address this? I leave in Florida and my daughter will be back in July. I have read the symptoms for sexual abuse children and she does not display any of them. Obviously she is not comfortable talking to us directly, any way, thank you for your help.
Sonia, I have to believe her at this moment. Children don't usually make these things up, unless they have some grudge to square up with someone and that rarely happens anyway. If she was doing that, she would have made more of a fuss about it with everyone involved.
Like it or not, you and she have to have an adult/parent conversation about her experiences, then judge for yourself what may or may not be true. Any kind of sexual touching when permission is not given is molestation/sexual assault, no matter what culture you live in. Many Latin males feel that they can do anything to a female and justify it as their own brand of "affection."
It sounds like she definitely has a "charge" on being with your parents, so the truth needs to be brought out in the open and appropriate actions taken, which could be anything from asking for forgiveness to going to jail, if a felony has occurred.
"Sending the message" through her brother indicates shame and guilt about not speaking up earlier about her experiences that she can't quite deal with in the moment.
Get her on the phone, send emails or do whatever you have to do to get through to her and open the conversation. She has her whole life ahead of her and carrying sexual trauma into future relationships/marriage would be a shame.
If you are doing Reiki, you probably know about EFT. Get her to a practitioner for a few sessions so she can release whatever has happened to her, then you can all be more aware of the dynamics between her and her grandparents.