Molestation/My 16 year old was sexually assaulted bymy 44 year old brother
QUESTION: My 16 year old daughter was staying the night with my brothers children and as she lay down on the sofa to go to sleep for the night her uncle came to her and told her she had made him have a bonner all day because she's so sexy. He then started rubbing her inner thigh and ask if he could finger her she started telling him to get away from her and started kicking at him he then ask her to at least let him jack-off on her vagina and thighs she then started to yell loudly at him and to get his wifes attention or anyone else but no one heard her she finally managed to kick him off of her and went to the bedroom of 1 of his sons and ask if she could please sleep in his room. The uncle came into the bedroom where my daughter had ran to and open the door and was making sexual acts with his tongue at her. she was terrified he was going to rape her. He did not bother after that. The next day she told his wife what he did and she did nothing...no phone call to me no police nothing. My daughter kept this from us for 3 weeks fearing her dad would kill the uncle and go to jail and did won't me to get sick (I am in bad health) she eventually told my sister ..her aunt what happen and my sister told her you have to tell your mom so I met them and my daughter told me what happen she also told me that that same night before this happen he had gave her and his 2 sons ages 13 and 14 alcohol I immediately called the police and reported him. The investigators talked with my daughter and me. They then told me because it had been 3 weeks they could not just go arrest him they would have to investigate its been 5 days and they still haven't did anything. 4 days after I reported him he called my daughters cell phone 2 times I did not let her answer.. I immediately called the detective and told him he had tried contacting my daughter and filed a report. What charges is he facing since she is 16 is it still child molestation or something else and can't his wife be charged for not telling me or calling the police? And why is it taking so long for them to arrest him??? He is free and my child is reliving this nightmare every day...what do they mean they cant go get him???.Please help!!! I don't know how much longer I can wait and they haven't arrested him I literally have to force my self and her dad from going over to his house and killing him.
ANSWER: Tammy, I am not a law enforcement official, lawyer or legal representative of any kind. I can't predict what may or may not happen in your town. Your police department may certainly do an investigation, but the priority is up to their workload and levels of staffing.
His actions certainly may include sexual assault, attempted rape, child molestation, etc. His wife probably lives in fear of this man and has her own reasons for not taking actions that we may not understand at this time.
When crimes are reported immediately, the police have more to work with as far as evidence and the ability to collect reports from witnesses, etc. Waiting three weeks has created a big problem for them, as far as their ability to charge him with a crime, I would guess.
Good for your daughter to fight back in the moment and deflect what could have been a much more serious circumstance. From my perspective, the most important focus is to de-traumatize your daughter from this traumatic event. She needs to see a competent therapist, who is experienced in dealing with sexual assault cases. Ideally, the therapist would include the EFT process to help neutralize the negative memories and feelings that she's stored since it happened.
Continue to be vigilant and persistent with the prosecution efforts. Gather any other stories or witnesses to his actions then and at other times that will show a pattern of abuse. Eventually, he is going to be prosecuted for his actions, but it is going to tear his family apart.
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QUESTION: Thank you Mr.Silver for your response I just wanted to give you a back ground on my brothers wife...she is a very strange woman and trust she does not fear him she is a very weird she said to my daughter I am going to kick him out because I also found his drug stash. We live in the state of Georgia I am not sure if this would help you better answer my question. I know that this will take longer for the police to handle since it was 3 weeks ago but I am confused at why they have not attempted to make contact with him. Each day I have to talk my self and her dada and brother from going to his home and taking the law in their hands. My heart is broken for my daughter. I want justice now not later. When do you foresee possible arrest? Thank you again!
Tammy, again I am not associated with law enforcement in any way, so I can't make any kind of guess/statement about how long it will take for them to complete their investigation and make an arrest. I imagine that they might be doing background checks on him and gathering evidence of some kind, because the original evidence and and witnesses are several weeks cold now.
"Justice" seldom really satisfies the wronged parties in a lasting and meaningful way. Getting help to neutralize the traumas, which enables people to move forward is why I am here. Do a search on EFT and your hometown to see who is in your area to give your daughter some much-needed help for what she went through. It might help you, as well, to calm your feelings about the situation. It is somewhat like a car accident... something happened, people got hurt, people are responsible and there is a resolution and healing. That's the whole cycle of life, in these kinds of cases. Be present and take care of whatever is going on in the moment. The law will catch up with him, sooner or later and he will have to answer for his criminal behavior(s).