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Molestation/What do you think of this?

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Question
At 8 years old I was involved in a sexual game with a younger cousin. I knew nothing about sex as I hadn't been told about it and hadn't asked. We are both girls with a 5 year age gap. This game involved genital touching. It was never forced and my cousin was never unhappy about it. I don't remember telling her to keep it a secret either. It only happened a few times and I don't remember how it even started. Do you think this will affect her? I don't think she remembers. We were still close growing up and still are at the ages of 18 and 13. I have been feeling extremely guilty about this for months, I can assure you that I have never done anything like that again. Did I molest or abuse her, or was it just curiosity and exploration because I was too a child myself and didn't understand what it was? I'm terrified that at some point she'll remember and think I abused her and tell everyone.

Answer
Rachy,

Please know that you are not liable for your childhood sexual curiosity actions when you were eight years old. Children are curious and learn by doing as much as by being told about what things are and what to do or not to do. Sibling and family childhood sexual exploration is quite common, especially at an early age. The line between molestation/abuse and sexual exploration really is about intent. When people do things specifically for sexual gratification at the expense of another, then the actions become criminal, which does not apply to your situation.

From what you have described, your cousin is perfectly fine, especially if your relationship is solid and loving. She's at the age now where she may need some guidance about sexual feelings and actions from an older peer... like you.

One thing you can do is just to ask her about what she remembers about spending time with you and then ask her to forgive you if there was any harm done, whatsoever. If no harm was done, she can just say "I forgive you for your curiosity at your age" and be done with it. You are looking back at your childhood with a more mature mind (which is still developing until about age 25!) and judging the actions of a child. You didn't know any better and you did it in such a way as to not cause harm from what I gather here.

If you can't quite shake your guilt and shame, investigate the EFT process available all over the internet, especially in the UK. Search EFT and your hometown name to find practitioners who can help you ease your guilty feelings, probably in one session.

Once you clear those feelings, you can return to the life you need to attend to and feel good about intimate relationships in the future, as well.

Best wishes,

William Silver

Molestation

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William Silver

Expertise

I can address all questions about physical, sexual, emotional trauma and how to eliminate the effects from your life. I specialize in assisting clients with a 1 to 3-hour session that can discharge all of the negative feelings around any type of emotionally based problem. I can direct you to some websites where you can download information to assist you and your loved ones with emotional problems. I can also assist directly on the phone or via email, in addition to personal sessions, here in San Diego, California. I am not a licensed therapist, lawyer or law enforcement officer.

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I have been a holistic health therapist for a total of over 15 years, specializing in anxiety-phobia, trauma release work.

Education/Credentials
TFT/EFT training, Cranio-Sacral Therapy, SHEN, Reiki, Hypnotherapy.

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