Molestation/Incest/Molestation - What to do
I'm currently 15. I didn't receive education regarding sex until last year. Anything I knew was based off what I saw in pornography. After receiving sexual education, I came to the realization that I was sexually abusing/molesting my niece and I had also did the same thing to a male cousin of mine (who's about the same age as me) when I was younger (though, it appears he has completely forgotten about it, which I'm grateful for). After looking through past answers on this site and doing some research on the web, I concluded it was a combination of my curiosity and hormones. I've decided that I would stop my behavior, however I'm still concerned for my niece. I know I can't undo the damage I've done, but I want to know what affects my actions will have on her, and how can I help her I guess cope with it. I really don't want my actions from before to ruin our futures.
Thank you in advance.
You are wise to recognize the possible harm that may have been inflicted upon your young relatives. You didn't give the age of your niece, kind of treatment or for how long you have been molesting her, so it is very difficult to determine the amount of emotional/mental damage which may have occurred.
When the "sex game" is played between somewhat consenting children, there is less damage than when one side is focused upon receiving sexual gratification at the expense of the other party involved. When there is penetration or forcible acts which are not welcomed or enjoyed things can go sideways fairly quickly with younger children.
We are all sexual beings and it doesn't start at any particular age or just at puberty. Depending upon what was done and the age of your niece and how resilient she is to what happened, it may have caused enough harm for her to be seen professionally to clear out those episodes. We use the EFT process to help many victims of sex crimes and sexual related trauma recover their sense of self and their ability to comprehend sexual experiences in a different manner.
Asking forgiveness is always a good first step. Asking and receiving forgiveness involves both parties with an understanding and sense of trust that this will never happen again. Whether she is old enough to understand the implications of what you two have been doing is unknown to me at this time, due to lack if information.
IF you have been doing research, you know that there are serious side-effects that occur in children who are sexually molested. Speaking up for her, in the event that she has been noticeably injured is going to be the most mature thing you can do as a young man. At some point you may have to discuss this with your parents/guardians and her parents/guardians, as well. Worsening behaviors and aversion towards you or things that remind her of your sexual sessions are strong indicators that she will need help from a counselor or therapist.
This is a powerful lesson to learn and I hope that other young people/teens who read this will realize that selfish self-serving behaviors involving young children can often result in an emotionally damaged individual, who will find difficulties in relating to intimate situations in the future, because of flashback memories linked to earlier times.
Good for you to speak up. Continue to take responsibility for your actions, however hard that may be. In the end, all will benefit from learned lessons.