Molestation/How to regain lost confidence ?
Hi, everyone, I am now 19 years old boy, but most of the time I fear like a girl, I always feel unsafe when I travel in nights & alone places specially in nights, even I feel scared of tall men, I start bubbling while taking with them…so I have no confidence at most of time..i think this is happening because of a incident that happened with me…when I was 13 years old, I got a infection near my genitals & thighs, so I was rubbing my genitals for many days, my sister's ( my sister & cousin sister) saw & complained to mom, mom thought I have grown up & I was masturbating, she warned me not do this in-front sister's. but due to itch I did it many times...2-3 days later mom, took me to a quack, ( who was unskilled ) he asked me to remove my clothes, but there was only a small room so I didn't want to strip in-front mom & sisters, but I was forced to strip, he checked me & found no disease, so he told mom, I was misbehaving & I don't have any problem, mom got very angry, but he suggested a punishment, he asked my sister to count one 2 3 up-to 20, as he is going to tug/pull my penis 20 times as a punishment...hearing this all started laughing, at beginning mom was not sure but later my sister’s insisted mom & she gave her consent for this punishment…then the quack ( unskilled doctor)suddenly grabbed my tiny penis,& he started tugging/pulling it, my sister's were counting like one 2 3 & he was tugging on my penis, he was not pulling it very hard but still it was quite painful & embarrassing, after 20 times he left my penis, & when I returned back to home, they told this to aunt and other family persons & they all laughed on my strange punishment was teased quite long about this…but after this, I lost my confidence, I started feeling scared in going in nights or even if a big tall man stares me, I feel very unsafe & scared. Even I could not speak with confidence in-front a group of men. What I should do to get rid of my problem?
Halbaz, Well, that sure sounds like a big dose of sexual trauma to me, coupled with the ridicule of your family and the quack "doctor" plan of action. No wonder you have fears and guilt issues around older men and being in groups of people.
Look for some EFT practitioners in and around your city, by searching "EFT practitioner and your town/area" The EFT process is drug-free, quick and can be learned to help yourself in any situation. This is a gentle "tapping" exercise, using the body's acupressure points for neutralizing traumatic memories and unhelpful feelings of guilt, shame, anger, etc.
There are hundreds of EFT-energy medicine websites out there, including:
The process is easy to learn and amazingly powerful at reducing old thoughts and memories to just a distant memory that no longer creates an emotional response in your mind-body.
An experienced EFT practitioner can get you back on track pretty quickly, I'm sure.