Molestation/molestation at 13 now 60
molested at 13 by same man my 16 yr old sister got pregnant by...I am now 60, he is married to her, commited adultury,caught both by myself and my sister in affairs at different times in different cities, Im forced again to lie. Losing myself esteem, confidence, afraid, intimitated, and living lies to protect my parents and sister is hard enough but thru the yrs much more harm has been done and my credibility is nonexistant, my family is convinced im a problem, he says im nuts, im ridiculed laughed at now my children have been caught up laughing at me and now my own grandkids think nanas dumb. Confused and tired of being nobody I want it to stop. I rarely go to family holidays, my favorite time was the 6O yr.traditional campout grown to over 12O of us. He is extremely powerful and reminds me thru emails, he is above the law! He attacked me for asking him to please scoot the chair over just a bit, (after he sat in front of me obstructing my view) This was on Eve of Easter at my mom 8O and dads 9O when he violently jumped at me pounded the moms kitchen table with his fist shouted F words flipped me off ordered me to leave stay away cuz im not liked, no one wants to be around me said im bipolar and need meds to see reality my dad was hugging and blocking him from me as his daug. ran in trying to stop him then my sister yelled at her daug. saying they pay me to be liked it was war in front of the scared little kids watching and i was afraid my dad wud have heart attack and die or my mom .my dad said to me dont say a word and we didnt so after his rage i asked my mom if it was true i am not wanted or liked cuz if it is i will leave and stay away.. tell me the truth ...she said then just pack and leave...Not one person backed me or said a word.to help me...i was thrown under the bus, i packed left at 9:30pm drove home 2 1/2 hrs away alone on Easter and He remains the most influential Hispanic in this state, a former State Sen., currently, a county supervisor so my family is blind to his tactic. Ive finally two days ago told my mom and dad the truth we cant change this if it is not acknowledged and i lost evertything by losing them and 43yrs later i can no longer take this ....i was yelled at for doing this ...and they hung up ..My question is what now....im sad they feel my pain or care , take him molester over their daug...what parent can live with that..im sad....and my fear for 43ys was not sure if they were capable and how i wud feel then...advise me ....
Celia, I'm sorry to hear that you felt that you had to hide this secret for all these years and that the perpetrator continues to bully you and get away with it. Sometimes, when family dysfunctions are so pervasive and mind-sets locked in place there is nothing you can do to change the family culture you live in. You chose to allow the truth to be suppressed and everyone's opinions have pretty much been set in stone.
Most likely your real emotional issues are PTSD-related due to the molestation event, as a base of your emotional fragility. You have fought hard to overcome the traumatic memories, through the years, but until you get direct healing assistance for them, they will continue to persist. I have found that the use of EFT (emotional freedom technique) sessions are highly effective at neutralizing and dissolving the effects of trauma, even that far back in your life. Your focus, at this moment, needs to be healing those wounds first. You can do a websearch on "EFT + your city/region" to see who might be in your area to assist you with a few sessions. There are no drugs (or their side-effects) to deal with when doing EFT sessions and usually the results are immediate and permanent. EFT sessions can be guided over the phone, with great success by an experienced EFT practitioner, as well, in case no one is nearby.
I am not a doctor, so cannot advise you about any medication issues or other aspects of your emotional/mental care. If you are bi-polar due to a genetic part of your makeup, then EFT may or may not help address your mood swings, but I would certainly get the molestation trauma released first, then see what's leftover and go from there.
If you have incriminating emails from this man, I would save them up and perhaps there will be enough evidence to press charges for the molestation in the future. Unfortunately, I suppose your sister will not be on your side, even if she knows about what happened in the past. All you can do, in this moment, is take care of yourself.
References for EFT information:
www.eft.mercola.com and hundreds of others on the internet.
Best wishes for a happier life in the near future.