James wrote at 2015-01-18 01:36:58
You should really go see a professional about all of this. The sexual fantasies isn't too much a cause for huge concern, but it can be a sign of greater issues. Number one of which is your fear of men. Fear of being close to people, pushing them away out of fear. Possible fear of rejection? Possibly leading to you rejecting them first. It actually sounds like you might possibly have a personality disorder. Those signs with the sexual fantasies are some signs. Sexual abuse is a possible cause. Also growing up in a home with physical or mental abuse. Fear of your parents, alcohol abuse of one of your parents, one parent leaving the household. Lack of invalidation growing up. Any one of these and more may bring out mental disorders. I would go talk to a professional about all of this. Possibly take some personality tests. Talk therapy can help. Cognitive behavior therapy, Dialectical behavior therapy if borderline personality is diagnosed. There are ways to get relief and to feel much much better.
I have borderline personality disorder and I know others who have it. So I know some of the signs, the symptoms, the causes. Other disorders are related and similar. It would be a good idea just to see. At least get treated if you do not have any disorders. The huge fear of men and getting too close to people is a big cause for concern.
I can address all questions about physical, sexual, emotional trauma and how to eliminate the effects from your life. I specialize in assisting clients with a 1 to 3-hour session that can discharge all of the negative feelings around any type of emotionally based problem. I can direct you to some websites where you can download information to assist you and your loved ones with emotional problems. I can also assist directly on the phone or via email, in addition to personal sessions, here in San Diego, California. I am not a licensed therapist, lawyer or law enforcement officer.
I have been a holistic health therapist for a total of over 15 years, specializing in anxiety-phobia, trauma release work.