Molestation/Did my pediatrician molest me?
This was about 15-20 years ago (I had a routine checkup every year, so I don't remember which year it was). My pediatrician was a woman, at least middle age, maybe older (again, I was too young to notice).
I was in the exam room with my mom, same as always, and someone (I don't remember if it was my pediatrician or a nurse) came in and told me that for this exam, I should take off all my clothes except my underwear (this was the only time they had ever had me do that). I was embarrassed, but they said that my mom could wait outside (which was a relief to me. This was the only time they ever had my mom wait outside for one of these exams).
My pediatrician did the usual set of exams (listened to my heart with a stethoscope, etc). Then... she either had me pull my underwear down, or she pulled them down (I don't remember, but my recollection is leaning toward her having me pull them down). Then she used her hand to retract the head of my penis and said something like "good retraction." And then told me to make sure to clean it when I was in the shower. I told her that I always did. After that I put my clothes back on, my mom came back in, and we left just like normal. I never said anything about it to my mom or anyone, because I didn't consider the possibility that there might be something to say.
My mind's wandered to this stuff before, but when I was going to the bathroom earlier today, it just suddenly clicked that this happened, and that it might not have been normal. Or maybe it was a normal one-time exam that pediatricians do (or did back then) around the time that puberty kicks in (I was somewhere around that age). I honestly don't know.
I don't remember all the details, but I'm sure about the details I do remember. Was this something that at least some pediatricians could be reasonably expected to do 15-20 years ago, for valid medical reasons, or was it something abnormal?
Joe, given your description and the brevity of the incident, I feel certain that it was just a routine exam procedure, which if given by a male doctor, might not have been so embarrassing to your young mind. Bear in mind that I am NOT a doctor and cannot advice medical advice or comment on medical procedures.
Molestation is an active sexual action that gives some kind of sexual pleasure to the molester, which would have taken a whole lot longer than the time that this procedure took with you.
Having a relative stranger, in this doctor, pulling on your private parts is a jarring experience for a young boy, so I can see how it may have embedded itself in your mind/body and now that you are older your mature mind might make it into something sinister, when it wasn't.
If this memory continues to bother you and trigger, perhaps, other sexual memories and feelings from the past, then a session with an EFT practitioner will probably uncouple the mental trauma from your conscious mind, which would rather be right than happy... left brain function.
Search your local city for EFT + your city, to find a local EFT practitioner who can assist you move past this little hiccup in your memory. EFT (emotional freedom technique) is a fast, simple and powerful method to neutralize harmful memories of the past without having to resort to drugs and months/years of talk therapy.
See sites like:
for references and downloads of the basic technique. This is a system that can be self-applied, but it might be preferable to have a practitioner assist you in the beginning. You will be amazed at how you feel after just one session and that may be all you need to handle this issue.