Molestation/Step Son

Advertisement


Question
I am a 30 year old woman. Five years ago I married my husband who already had a 10 year old son. He is fifteen now. Initially he was quite a nice boy, quite caring, shy and respectful. But since about a year or so he has been behaving quite inappropriately towards me. I will give you a brief summary about what is going on below.

My stepson was always affectionate towards me. Initially he would politely kiss me and hug me but now he tries to make every single peck on the lips a long drawn out affair. I tried to dismiss it initially and even tolerated it a couple of times but he tries to French kiss me and I sometimes have to put a stop to it. In the mornings he likes to hug me from behind and sometimes I can feel his erection pressing against my buttocks. There are occasions where he will simply slap or grab my bottom as he is walking by. I have also caught him masturbating many times. At first I thought it was accidental but soon it was clear to me that he was doing it on purpose whenever I might come upon him. I had a talk with him about this where I told him that it was normal for him to masturbate and that all boys do it at his age. I also told him that he should do it in private and try to avoid thinking about me when he does it.

I thought the advice had worked but one day when I came to his room after knocking and seeking his permission to enter he was naked and masturbating. He begged me to stay and help him ejaculate. It was shocking to me that he would ask me about this and it was only when I told him that I would tell his father about it that he grew quiet and later apologized profusely. I forgave him for this incident but warned him not to ask me to touch him again.

Nothing happened for a few months but just last Sunday me, my husband and my stepson were invited to dine with some business friend of my husbands and his family. At the restaurant I was sitting just to the right of my stepson when I felt his hand rest on my knee. I was wearing a conservative formal dress that ended a few inches above my knee. To my horror I felt his hand slide between my legs and under the skirt of my dress. He reached my panties and tried to pull them down. I tried to warn him without telling him and grabbed his hand under the table to stop him. All this was going on while my husband was calmly chatting with his friend and his family, everyone quite oblivious to what was going on underneath the table. I struggled to remove his hand for a minute or two before I realized that I couldnít stop him without making the others aware of what was going on.  Not wanting to make a scene that would upset my husband I allowed my stepson to do as he wished. It was one of the most humiliating moments of my life as I lifted my buttocks one after the other as he pulled my panties down my thighs and legs and let them fall at my feet. He quickly bent down and put them in his pocket no doubt to masturbate using them later. I quickly crossed my legs lest he invaded my personal space again. It was really strange to spend the rest of the evening out in public without wearing anything under my skirt. I wanted to get angry at what he had done but felt myself getting aroused at what had happened. I feel ashamed to say it.

I must also tell you that my relationship with my husband is not very good. He is an alcoholic who beats his stepson for every small mistake, which is one of the reasons why I havenít told him about what his son is doing. My husband and I rarely ever have sex and to know that someone desires me sexually even though it is highly inappropriate is kind of flattering. But nonetheless I am worried about my stepson. Is this an appropriate case to take to a counsellor? What else should I do to change things? Please advice.

Answer
Ayesha,  I know that  women's rights are a big issue over there and there are many issues about how women are treated sexually, in general, over there.

I think you already know that counseling is highly recommended for both your husband and his son, especially in this case. Your stepson seems to be going through his teen years with a high rate of sexual energy that needs to be redirected to other endeavors. Treating you in this way and getting away with it will only give him permission, in his own mind, to treat any woman in the same manner, which will surely lead to damage to some young woman's spirit in the future.

I would get them both into counseling right away and you may need some assistance as well, to recover from your own sexual assault. You must put a stop to this right away, as the consequences for future personal and family tragedy seem very high if this continues. You need to stand up for yourself now and put your stepson in his place.

William Silver

Molestation

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


William Silver

Expertise

I can address all questions about physical, sexual, emotional trauma and how to eliminate the effects from your life. I specialize in assisting clients with a 1 to 3-hour session that can discharge all of the negative feelings around any type of emotionally based problem. I can direct you to some websites where you can download information to assist you and your loved ones with emotional problems. I can also assist directly on the phone or via email, in addition to personal sessions, here in San Diego, California. I am not a licensed therapist, lawyer or law enforcement officer.

Experience

I have been a holistic health therapist for a total of over 15 years, specializing in anxiety-phobia, trauma release work.

Education/Credentials
TFT/EFT training, Cranio-Sacral Therapy, SHEN, Reiki, Hypnotherapy.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.