Molestation/Was I molested?
I do not know how old i was, probably somewhere in-between 5-7 years-old. My two older sisters (one that was 2 years older & the other nearly 4 years older) played this game with me on a few different occasions. We were all undressed and we explored each others bodies. There were plenty of things that we did, but one in particular was that I was asked to preform oral-sex, and I did it. I never felt abused. But the memory has become a traumatic thing for me. Last year i became extremely depressed and suicidal for about six-ten months. I am getting help. I have a psychiatrist and a behavioral therapist working with me. I wonder though if my therapist (who i recently told about this) really believes I was molested or if he's just saying that to make me feel validated for the pain this has brought to my life. Was I molested or was what i went through normal?
Elaine, sibling sexual exploration is very common in most families where children are left to explore on their own, unsupervised.
While it is "normal" childhood exploratory behavior doesn't mean that it can't be traumatic and border on sexual abuse depending upon the intentions of the perpetrator.
We are sexual beings and we are cognizant of sexual feelings way before puberty.
The key here is not whether it was "exploration" or sexual abuse, it is how the event affected you, which apparently was significant. You are also now looking back at your behaviors as a child with an immature mind from the view as an adult with a mature mindset. That's not fair to you or anyone else involved.
It would be useful, perhaps, to have your sisters apologize to you, but they may not have even realized that they were causing particular emotional pain to you at the time.
I know you feel this is significant and that you may never get over it, but these kinds of emotional traumas can be healed quickly with energy medicine techniques like EFT (emotional freedom technique).
Read more about it and how to apply it at sites like www.eft.mercola.com www.emofree.com and www.eftuniverse.com among thousands of similar sites using this acupressure point based therapy.
I have used EFT successfully for over 25 years, doing phone and SKYPE sessions with great success. EFT doesn't erase the memories, but you just don't care about them anymore. They become just a part of your life story without the significance that you are feeling about them presently. The success rate of EFT sessions is generally over 90%. Get your therapist on-board with EFT or find a local practitioner in your town/state to help you with this issue. I can guarantee that if this is the only emotional trauma in your life about sexuality and how it impacted you, you will be cured of this in probably one or two sessions. Once it is healed it is healed forever and you can go on about your life being the person you were meant to be without the cloud of this memory overshadowing the rest of your life experiences.
Some of the links above may be clipped off by this site system, but do your research to find more about those subjects.