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Molestation/Spouse of a molested woman

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blvdsoulja wrote at 2008-05-28 08:17:45
You wont find the answers in a book, she is probally bi-polar and the best thing you can do is keep her away from her family, move out of state, and dont ever invite the family to visit. Your relationship will be much better, been through simmillar thing, actually it was exactly the same, it destroyed our relations when I let the sister come to live.

good luck

D


Dazed, but not so confused anymore wrote at 2013-08-18 20:41:47
There is a book called Allies in Healing by Laura Davis.  I am in an extremely similar situation to yours and the book was a absolute revelation.  I only wish I had found it sooner.  It would have helped me understand and avoid a lot of mistakes.  It is available on Amazon or about $13.  Do yourself a huge favor and read it.


Molestation

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It is very hard to come out and talk about a family member violating you. When I was very young I was molested by my father. I have gone through and continue to go through the effect this has had on me and my family. My mother is in full support, my middle sister refuses to believe it and thinks I was confused and my eldest sister believes me but continues to speak to our father.

The abuse has had a huge impact on my relationships with men. I have had to work through trying to mix sex and love. I had a huge fear of intimacy for many years. I have gone to counseling for approximately one year and have read various self help books for sexual abuse survivors. Itís been a slow process but I can finally see some light at the end of the tunnel. This is not to say I am completely healed though. I don't know if that will ever happen.

Try not to take to hard is when you do come forward and people don't believe you. They may think you are lying and doing it for attention. Just understand some people canít deal with things like this and have to tell themselves its not true. They canít imagine this person they think so highly of doing something so bad; but they do, it happens everyday. You have to learn to work through it and you will be a stronger, better, more compassionate person in the end.

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I was molested by my father and continue to deal with the fact not all of of my family believes me. It is hard for me as this is my family. I have to remember that regardless of my experience my sisters do share the father I do and deal with things the best way they can.

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