Molestation/Did my pediatrician molest me?
Kelsey wrote at 2007-12-19 22:37:24
When I read this story, chills went down my body. I feel Becky that you may have been molested. I had the same situation happen to me 14 years ago when I was 12 years old. I needed a last minute physical to play volleyball for my school. My mom got me in a place where the doctor was a male. I was very nervous and it felt more like a massage than a physical. He worked on my body for 10-15 minutes and told me he needed to check me down there like what happened with you. This is were I found out for sure that I being molested. He fingered me until I orgasmed. I couldn't help it nor knew for sure I was molested than. But a few years later I knew I was. The doctor moved to another state I believe so I never pressed charged and I am too afraid of doing that. I am sorry somebody like yourself had to go through that type of deal like myself. But I do believe you were molested.
Jovanna_Elisa wrote at 2008-07-08 03:27:50
I also had an experience like this- almost identical! About 30 years ago too!
I knew in my little 8 year old tummy that this "guy" was not giving me an exam. He was odd about it and sneaky. He did it twice to me, and both times it was when the nurse would leave. Isnt there a rule to have a nurse or parent in the room? Anyway, I told my mom that I didnt like going there, and had a major panic attacks until she listened to me, so she didnt take me for awhile. She finally asked me why I hated this doctor. I told her what he did! She said that she told the doctor off, and then told my dad. Apparently, (this part is super blurry) the doctor was the doctor of my 2 older brothers, and was a "nice and good" doctor, so I guess neither parent followed through much further. Needless to say, I remember that feeling, it was so creepy. I knew someone had "hurt me," but felt too small to do anything about it. Maybe I went back to the doctor, and my mom came with me inside the room?Cant remember much after I told. But I remember feeling better at some point, so the doc never hurt me again.
Poor little me, I haven't thought about this in years! I am going to give myself a big hug and a toast for being a little trooper!!!
Karen wrote at 2008-10-21 19:36:14
I have no doubt you were molested. A very similar thing happened to me at only 8 years old!
I do not understand why being from the UK would make a difference in medical procedures. Since when is it normal to do a pelvic exam on such a young girl? You were not having any problems, right? We are taught that physicians are authority figures not to be questioned and unfortunately there are doctors with bad intentions who take advantage of this. I have since researched this topic and spoken to my therapist as well as my physician friends. What your doctor did to you was NOT normal. Like yours, my pediatrician was "beloved" and "well respected". Because of him I did not even get a pelvic exam until I was 30 years old. And I will only ever go to a female physician. Pursue this with the help of a therapist if you think it will be healing for you. Be your own empowered advocate. Good luck and strength to you.
Dawn wrote at 2008-12-20 06:18:03
Oh my gosh! I searched and searched to find something like this. Our "beloved by the community" pediatrician also would do the finger exam at every physical. I refused to see him past 11. He also did it to my younger sister but didn't do it to my older sister until she was about 12. My mom was in the room but he placed himself in a position where she could not see, though I still think she knew it was going on, but I think gullible enough to believe it was routine. I believed it was normal until I had children of my own and the doctors weren't doing that. I then started asking more people and doctors if it was EVER normal. When I've asked other adults who as kids went to this same doc I was told he did not do this to them. I mean people thought this guy was great. He recently died so it has stirred up my memories again. I used to plan on ways of confronting him and asking him why he did this. I read his obituary online where people have written their memories of him and they are all so in love with this pervert, and talk about how wonderful he was. He sure wasn't wonderful to me. One time when I was about 10 and sitting there in only my undies, no top, I was covering myself when he walked in, pulled my arms away and said, what's your problem, you have nothing to hide. What a PIG!
JayDeeisMe wrote at 2009-03-12 19:02:21
I, too, went to a well-respected "beloved by the community" pediatrician when I was growing up. My mother was a nurse and worked with him, so he was "the" doctor in her mind. He was also a family friend. I remember having to undress to my panties for every visit--even if it was just for a sore throat or an earache. Also, at every visit, he would check me "down there". No matter how much I complained, my mother just ignored my pleas to not go back. He also berated me for my weight and put me on a very low calorie diet. One time he was out of town and I had to go see another doctor at the same clinic. He was so nice to me. I begged my mom to let me switch doctors, but she wouldn't.
When my children came along, I swore I'd never let them be treated like that by any doctor. I also warned one of my mom's neighbors not to take her young daughter there. My mom said that I was overreacting.I understand the need to check the diaper area in babies. I also understand the need to examine that area if there is a problem. But children need to be able to tell their doctor and parents if they feel uncomfortable. Years later, I would have flashbacks and burst into tears after being with my husband. I finally confided in my husband and he helped me get therapy. I always wanted to go back and confront this guy to let him know how much he hurt me. He's dead now. But his name lives on in my hometown. I'm so glad I don't live anywhere near there now. For years, I thought I had no right to feel this way. After all, he was my doctor and he had the RIGHT to touch me anywhere he wanted to. Thanks for listening. I thought I was the only one who'd been through this.
Layla wrote at 2010-02-01 21:38:19
I am glad I'm not the only one. I think I was molested by my pediatrician when I was 3. I remember him putting a finger (or maybe more) in me when my parents weren't in the room with me, and I remember my eyes welling up because it hurt. I remember never wanting to go back. Since then I have had white coat syndrome pretty bad - blood pressure shoots to maybe 155/90 or higher when in any kind of doctor's office. I have never told anyone about this...my husband doesn't know, neither does my mom (and I don't think she'd believe me either because this doctor was supposed to be SO great).
mommyj1974 wrote at 2010-02-04 00:48:39
I have recently been enduring some personal trauma that brought this same issue up with me. It's obviously one that causes a lot of pain because look-the answers keep coming in 3 years plus. This happened to me when I was 10 in Kansas City, also to a boy I was in school with (same Dr.). I hated myself (still do), couldn't look myself in the mirror, etc. I wanted to KILL him...I used to dream about it. I too, avoided an OBGYN exam until I had an emergency at age 28 or so. I see only women Dr.'s now. It is so sick, what someone can do to another person like that and the ripple effect it has. I feel for everyone in here who experienced this. I wish I could take it away for all of us! Here is to your healing and recovery from the hurt and anger.
just me wrote at 2010-08-01 20:41:11
I was also molested by a doctor. I came from a troubled home of drug use and lots bof fighting. This is what I think this dr. preyed on. My brother and I would stay at his house in utah. I would sleep in his room and my brother in the living room.He would usauly start while I was a sleep. Then he moved to Texas and my mom sent me to live with him and he got braver and did it while I was awake and went further and urther each time. finally after 2 1/2 years I went home. I told my mom but she never beleived me. Finally after he came to visit a few times I tried to kill my self I was so confused. I went a hospital where he once worked and had a doctor there tell me could not beleive this dr. did this to me. I felt so betrayed. Later a few years later Texas Contacted me and wanted me to testified in a trail for the same dr. molesting his adopted daughter. I said no at first until I was asked to listen to a tape of his little girl talking about what had been done to her. I was told with out my testimony he might go free. So I went to Texas and I was pretty much put on trail. He walked but as far as I know he never got his daughter back.
Tiffany wrote at 2010-12-03 17:57:51
If this has been bothering you for 30 years, I would say that he more than likely did something inappropriate.
Something similar happened to me when I was just a little older than you. I went to a pediatrician for a school physical. He pulled my bra down and I could see my breasts bouncing up and down as he tapped, slapped, thumped, squeezed and pinched. Every time I pulled my bra back up, he'd pull it back down and continue. He did the same with my panties, despite me telling him not to. That was most of the exam. He did not give me the option of having a parent or other female in the room. No immunizations either, but he checked off every single one on the school's checklist as if he'd done his job. I wonder how many diseases I'm not immunized against because of him.
Becky, if you've been wondering about this for 30 years, then you've taken the full responsibility for what your pediatrician did to you. Maybe it was a different time, but it is at least very unethical to do things like that to such a young girl without parental consent and without a parent in the room with you.
I agree with Christine that you have to make peace with what was done to you so that you can move on with your life, but you do not need to second-guess what you, as a child and as an adult, sense was wrong all along.
gringa wrote at 2012-01-06 05:48:57
Oh my godness. I am 30yrs old my female OBGYN said I have cysts on ovarys last year. They prescribed me birth control to shrink them and I was fine til last wk. I tried to see her but she was booked so she made me an appt to see a male OBGYN friend of hers. I am 30yrs old so I wasnt nervous at all. When I went into room it was odd the old 80something yr old hugged me instead of shaking my hand. That was the first odd factor. Then he kept smiling in a freaky way. He did a pelvic exam on me and the nurse was right there but he began sticking his fingers in the way u would for fourplay. Then he began breathing heavy like he was getting off. OMG the nurse left and he handed me my clothes oddly looking at my pantys. He stayed in rm while I dressed. It has bothered me all wk
LittleJsMom wrote at 2012-01-22 15:23:43
FINALLY! I'm not crazy, I knew it! I was a toddler and I clearly remember my doctor putting her finger in me. I think my mom thought it was routine and I'm sure the dr. had her believing this. I remember screaming. It HURT! Every appointment I went to, I had to undress. Even for a cough. I have never even told my husband about this (it's SO embarrassing!). I'm now pregnant with our first child (a boy) and will make sure he is NEVER subjected to anything like this.
shewasanamericangirl wrote at 2012-01-23 12:55:05
Wow. It's beautiful and also quite disturbing to see these stories, as they mirror my own experience of abuse very closely. I saw a normal, competent pediatrician throughout my early childhood, but when I was nine or ten his young son, recently graduated from med school took over my care. (Heh. "Care."). My mom stopped staying in the room during the exams, don't remember why. The exams were in a smaller room, further from the lobby. One day he said, "You're older now, so I have to do this." He fingered me, his hands were rough, it hurt. I remember this distinct thought: There can be NO possible medical purpose for this. After the exam I remember feeling confused and ashamed and I debated about whether to tell my mom. I decided not to. I repressed the memory by deciding that it WAS normal. Flash forward: I was diagnosed with vulvodynia at age 20 during my first serious romantic relationship. And It wasn't until I was 23 years old (after a frustrating experience with a mildly incompetent and rather curt doctor, female by the way) that I recalled the memory clearly and said to myself "holy s---, that was totally sexual abuse." I told my parents but I have not done anything in terms of contacting the Dr or making a public statement because, since my memory is so unclear, I imagine it may be hard to accomplish anything. The night I recalled the memory, I started feeling terrible muscle spasms and joint pains, and then learned the name for this: fibromyalgia. Definitely a strong link between vulvodynia / fibromyalgia and sexual abuse / PTSD, no doubt about it. It is such and ugly and terrible thing that doctors do this sometimes. A therapist pointed out to me that he must have been a very wounded and tortured and screwed-up person himself, to do such a thing, and that he probably lied to himself and convinced himself it was okay. Not sure if that 'helped' but it's an interesting thought. All right, I'm writing y'all a novel here. So I'll end with this: Please be strong and take care of yourself. The people who did this are rotten and lousy and you are so beautiful and I'm so sorry this happened to all of us and there is so much love for you in the universe.
Carly wrote at 2013-02-15 10:49:40
I had an experience with a female doctor when I was 14, I did a lot of ballet back then and severly sprained my inner thigh muscle so mum took me to the doc. I went in and she pulled the curtain around, lifted my skirt up to my stomach and spread my thighs exposing the crotch of my panties. She said she would be a while to my mum who then went into the waiting room and when she came back she began to feel the inside of both my thighs and began massaging them, it feel good and I relaxed eventually and after a bit I felt her hand bumping against my panty crotch, then her fingers were gently rubbing right at the top of my thigh by my knicker elastic, by now I was feeling very tingly down there and even felt my self getting horny, then her fingers gradually worked onto my panties and I couldn't help but thrust against her, minutes leter my thighs were clamped shut as I orgasmed.
purple ballerina wrote at 2015-06-10 02:27:39
I am amazed to have finally found a forum addressing this issue. My sex life was destroyed before it even started by a monster in the guise of a pediatrician. I was very young and cannot possibly recall when it began, but know for a fact (as I never repressed these memories) that every year at the end of each physical exam, with or without inoculations, this horrific man removed my panties, fingered my labia, and stuck his big finger in me and probed around. I was so young--4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 years old! I could go on and on describing my painful stomach aches, nightmares, bedwetting, then later, sexual problems--omigosh! Textbook! But of course I never attributed these troubles to having suffered sexual abuse--I assumed that his exams were absolutely normal. But I knew, I always knew in the back of my mind that I had been violated. Forty years later I still suffer. People always say get over it--put it in the past! But how can I? I still have that little girl inside me.
kaitlynn96 wrote at 2016-06-22 18:19:21
mommyj1974 @mommyj1974 if you see this please get in contact with me, I wonder if we had the same pediatrician. ellis.kaitlynn @ gmail is my email. His office was in overland park, I think. I am 20 now and recently sort of remembered one of the usual pelvic exams he did with his fingers, thinking "wait, is that normal? that does not seem normal." He would ask my mom take my brothers outside the exam room while he did it... she was a single mother with 3 kids and very naive/trusting, so I don't hold any grudges against her. I just can't find it in my heart to tell her.