AboutAlex Expertise It is very hard to come out and talk about a family member violating you. When I was very young I was molested by my father. I have gone through and continue to go through the effect this has had on me and my family. My mother is in full support, my middle sister refuses to believe it and thinks I was confused and my eldest sister believes me but continues to speak to our father.
The abuse has had a huge impact on my relationships with men. I have had to work through trying to mix sex and love. I had a huge fear of intimacy for many years. I have gone to counseling for approximately one year and have read various self help books for sexual abuse survivors. It’s been a slow process but I can finally see some light at the end of the tunnel. This is not to say I am completely healed though. I don't know if that will ever happen.
Try not to take to hard is when you do come forward and people don't believe you. They may think you are lying and doing it for attention. Just understand some people can’t deal with things like this and have to tell themselves its not true. They can’t imagine this person they think so highly of doing something so bad; but they do, it happens everyday. You have to learn to work through it and you will be a stronger, better, more compassionate person in the end.
Experience I was molested by my father and continue to deal with the fact not all of of my family believes me. It is hard for me as this is my family. I have to remember that regardless of my experience my sisters do share the father I do and deal with things the best way they can.
Question I am now 32 years old and just recently told my parents that my uncle molestated me on 1 occasion (that I recall)...
I dont recall the exact age but it seems that it was likely when I was about 5 years old. It all of a sudden came back to me when I was 18 years old out of no where-is that common? I had planned to never tell anyone, but once I had a child, that changed, it started haunting me like no tomorrow. I am really scared that my parents are going to say something to my uncle as I have never confronted him and he is going to deny this....is it common to have these feelings?
Answer I can't say how common or uncommon something like this is but it does happen. I think things tend to get a bit fuzzy when you look at the younger ages, espicially in reguards to abuse. You are tryin to forget something so it doesn't lend itself to crystal clear clarity espicially in terms of dates. They don't tend to be that important to kids.
I think you really need to face this. If your uncle does deny it (which you're right mostly likely he would) you have still spoken the truth and its out there. Thats all you can do. Just do what you need to do to make yourself feel better and move on.
Your feelings are normal, but just try to work through them. Speak with your family or close friends. Try to find some online resources or some in your community. I found books helped me but you have to do whatever suits you best and it seems you are on the right track.
