I am a married woman. I plan to have a child, and I was wondering whether is it haram to breastfeed one's husband as well. I have read somewhere that breastmilk is given to sick adults in hospital. so i guess it doesnot have any health consequences. what does islam say abt wives breastfeeding their husbands?
In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Gracious.
Dear sister in Islam, Assalam Alikum wa Rahmato Allahi wa Barakatoh.
Well, about your question, there are matters which we should cover over here..
Lets see the two matter..
***The first matter:
That if in the sexual intercourse, the husband sucks his wife's breast, and this leads to the dropping of some of the wife's milk in the husband's mouth if the milk was present, does such action breaks the nikah (marriage) or not?
The answer is no, and the nikah is still firm and not broken by that, as breastfeeding after the first two years does not create any relationship of mahram, as the prophet (Salla Allaho Allihi wa Sallam) said: "Nothing of breastfeeding creates the relationship of mahram except what fills the stomach to bursting point, before (the age of) weaning." (Narrated by Imam Al-Tirmizi)
Imam Ibn Qudaamah said in Al-Mughni (9/201): (One of the conditions of breastfeeding creating the relationship of mahram is that it should be within the first two years. This is the opinion of most of the scholars. Something like this was narrated from Umar, Ali, Ibn Umar, Ibn Masood, Ibn Abbaas, Abu Hurayrah and the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), apart from Aaishah. It was also the opinion of al-Shibi, Ibn Shubrumah, al-Oozaai, al-Shaafai, Ishaaq, Abu Yoosuf, Muhammad, and Abu Thawr, and was narrated in one report from Malik.)
Also, The scholars of the Standing Committee (Shaykh Abd al-Azeez ibn Baaz, Shaykh Abd al-Razzaaq Afeefi, Shaykh Abd-Allaah al-Ghadyaan, Shaykh Abd-Allaah ibn Qaood)said:
(It is permissible for the husband to suck his wife’s breasts, and if any milk reaches his stomach it does not have the effect of making him a mahram).
And such situation(drinking wife's milk during the intercourse with her) had happened with one of the Sahaba, and here is the story,
Narrated from Abu Atiyah al-Waadii, who said: (A man came to Ibn Masood and said: My wife was with me and her breasts were full of milk (she was engorged). I began to suck it and spit it out. Then I came to Abu Moosa.
He (Ibn Masood) said, "What did you tell him?"
So he (Abu Moosa) told him what he had told him.
Then Ibn Masood stood up, took the man's hand (and said), "Do you think this is an infant? Breastfeeding is what produces the growth of flesh and blood."
Abu Moosa said: "Do not ask me anything when this scholar is among you.")
(Reported by Abd al-Razzaaq in al-Musannaf, 7/463, no. 13895).
Also, Maalik also reported in al-Muwatta’ that Abd-Allaah ibn Dinar said: "A man came to Abd-Allaah ibn Umar when I was with him in the court-house, asking him about breastfeeding one who is grown up. Abd-Allaah ibn Umar said: 'A man came to Umar ibn al-Khattaab and said, "I have a slave-girl with whom I used to have sexual relations, and my wife went to her and gave her her milk, then when I went to her, she said, 'Stop, by Allah I have given her my milk.’" Umar said, “Punish her (your wife), and (continue to) go to your slave-girl, for (the ruling on) breastfeeding only applies to breastfeeding of infants."'"
Shaikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi said:
"In conclusion, sucking the wife's breast, as far as Islam is concerned, does not render her unlawful for the husband."
However, it is better for a husband not to drink his wife's milk taking into consideration the opinion of those who believe that the suckling of a big person also establishes the relation of flesh and blood. This is the opinion of Ayisha (Radiya Allahu Anha), Ataa , Laith and Ibn Hazm.
Shaikh Ahmad Kutty(a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, adds:
"The wife's breast milk is intended for the baby, and not for the husband to consume. Although the husband is allowed to suck on it gently, he is not allowed to draw the milk in. According to some scholars, if he were to do so it would endanger the marriage relationship — if done five times. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, 'Avoid that which is doubtful', for, 'thereby one keeps his honor and religion intact.'
It is, therefore, important for the husband to refrain from such actions for we should do what is most pious and therefore safest."
***The second matter:
That what if the husband was breastfed from his wife's milk as if this milk is a source of feeding for him?
Well, this is not encouraged and not allowed because this collides oppositely with a a juristic Islamic rule, that the human's parts are protected and prevented from any kinds of indecent treatments and maintained from any kind of non useful usages.
And the wife's milk is a part of the human, and it was allowed for children because this is the best source of nutrition for the born children, which gives them benefits more than any other nutrition means, and thats why it is not allowed to sell women's milk.
Shaikh Ahmed Al-Hiji Al-Kurdy (a member in the fatwa institution in Kuwait)said:
"It is not allowed for any person to (to make use of) make benefit from the woman's milk without necessity, even her husband".
An additional point:
Of course, any kind of enjoyment is allowed in Islam between the husband and his wife.
Imam Al-Kasaani said (in Badaa’i’ al-Sanaa’i’, 2/231):
"Among the saheeh rulings on marriage is that it is permissible to look at and touch every part of her from head to foot when she is alive, because intercourse goes beyond looking and touching, so it is more appropriate that touching and looking should be permitted."
Also, Imam Ibn Aabideen said (in Radd al-Muhtaar, 6/367):
"Abu Yusuf asked Abu Haneefah about a man who touches his wife’s private part and she touches his to stimulate arousal – did he see anything wrong with that? He said: No, and I hope that the reward will be greater."
BUT, the sexual intercourse is not allowed only in two cases and strictly forbidden:
1)Having the intercourse from the anal canal (which is called anal sex), instead of its normal place (the vagina).
2)Having the normal intercourse during the menses period of the wife.
And of course not allowed also during the state Ihram for Hajj or/and Umrah.
So, in conclusion we say:
If this matter happened by chance during the sexual intercourse with your husband, this milk doesn't make any mahram relation and your marriage relation is still alright.(Taking the first opinion which says so)
But drinking the wife's milk as a source of nutrition, and as far as we know about the medicine issues that people can live in a very healthy manner without this kind of milk, and this is how the generations are going on without this kind of milk, and this milk is sufficient only for the new born children. So, this is not ok as we said in the second point.
So, the husband can enjoy the body of his wife by any means he wants, and if this caused the falling of the milk in his mouth, so the marriage is still ok and not broken, but this doesnot mean that the wife's breast milk is considered as a source of nutrition for the husband, and it shouldn't be.
I wish that this had clarified any inquiries you had.
Allah bless you and the whole Ummah inshaaAllah.
Allah Knows Best.
Assalam Alikum wa Rahmato Allahi wa Barakatoh.