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Muslim Teens/girl i loved married someone else


Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

I am MERAJ from india. I happened to be in relationship with a bengali hindu girl for 1 year, but Alhamdulillah I spent some time in tableegi jamaat and realized the importance of islam in my life and "gradually" i started to disconnect myself from that girl. Eventually it lead to a state where i was not speaking to her as my islam doesn't give me permission to have a love affair. I explained to the girl regarding this and she dint believe me and started gathering information regarding Islam and eventually reverted to Islam, alhamdullilah.  I told her very clearly that if she has embraced islam in order to get married to me then its is not correct and she told me that she did it for the love of Allah and i "still" maintained my distance from her.

She started offering salat and reciting koran. I helped her by giving her a mufti's contact no. When her parents got to know that she is following islam and likes a muslim boy, they tortured her very much for 3 times.they started to look for a hindu boy for her. she then expressed her desire of getting married to me and saving her imaan by having registered marriage in India to save herself from going into a hindu  marriage(acc to indian constitution one cant marry more than 1person).

I discussed the situation with my parents and my parents denied her in my family fearing of the consequences that will follow and potential damage they can do to my studies. I decided  to go ahead and marry her without my parents knowledge but then i asked her for "sometime" for the situation to calm down in my house and her house. She was monitored in every walk of her life, college, dressing, eating habits, etc. She had to make her salat qaza for fear of getting tortured by her parents. She kept on asking me for coming and getting married to her but i said i need 2 months of time.

After 3 days, that is on 12 march,2013 I got to know that she has willingly decided to move ahead in her life for saving her imaan and the person whom she married is a very good muslim and is a very pios man and a very good friend of mine. I came to know from him that she decided to marry someone else because
1.her parents will only think that she married meraj(me) because she loved him and they might not realise her love for islam
2. she wanted her family to revert which was only possible if they understand her love for islam.

I never wanted her to get married to someone else. Now that they both got married, I, as a muslim who has faith in allah have accepted this and "trying" to calm down and control my emotions.

I feel that i failed in the test allah was examining me - the test of saving a girl's imaan. I feel really guilty and sinful for not acting immediately to her situation. I blame my cowardness and my weak imaan for failing this test(as allah always tests someone within the limits of the persons domain). I seek refuge of allah on the day of judgement. if HE questions me then i cant answer HIM on the day of judgement.

Jannah is the place where you get what u wanted. I think that unfulfilled desires in duniya will come true in jannah, so i want that girl to be my wife in jannah but Is this legal to think ?  
do i ahve any chances of getting her??
i dont know if what am i thinking is something sinful and illegal according to islam.

please understand my situation and pray for the married couple and for me as well and please guide me accordingly.

Please answer if I can ask allah to give me this girl in jannah as my wife?

assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu


I am touched by your story - it must be hard for you but you are a strong person as you have not given up hope and faith - that in itself is a test, maybe god wanted to see will you have faith even if everything you love is taken away from you.

You said you feel like a coward and feel guilty - there is no need for that as you would have struggled to please your parents and please her - it would be a difficult task without support from friends and family. Who knows maybe you will find someone better and fall in love and settle down.

SECONDLY AND MOST IMPORTANTLY you will not be held responsible for the girl - as you can only be responsible for yourself and what you choose to do following this event - you have a path to choose - you can either continue feeling guilty and beating yourself up OR you can tell yourself it wasn't your fault and what happened for the best and try to move on with your life and hope and pray that you meet her again in paradise.


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Fatima Bismillah


I can answer question related to many Islamic topics especially those concerning children, family life, and teenagers that are struggling in the west. I can also relate to Quran and authentic hadiths.


I have read a range of books and articles by scholars of Islam and have also done Islamic studies. I have used used variety of books to distinguish true Islam from culture and any misconceptions.

I have got an A/B in Islamic studies. I have studied Arabic and have achieved A/A*. I have read books and Listened to lectures by knowledgeable scholars. I am studying science in college and trying to link it with Islam.

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