My name is Sakina and I'm 15 years old. I have been selfharming since I was around 11 years old. My reason for self harming is mostly because of my childhood. I was severely bullied as a child and that developed into self hate. I find it very hard to accept myself and be 'happy' especially in today's society. Only one person knows of my self harm because I find it hard to tell any of my family or friends or 'get help'. I haven't got a very strong relationship with my family- I have a very weak relationship with my one of my older sisters in particular. We are always arguing and she is one of separate the reasons why my self hatred is very strong. I have recently started being a more practicing muslimah (Alhamdulillah) and have tried stopping for the sake of Allah but it's very hard seeing as it's the only way to relive my sadness. I am really frustrated and confused on what to do so if you could help me that would be great. Jazakhullah-
Peace to your!
I am sorry to hear about your terrible struggles. My heart aches for you. You need to deal with the root of this problem first. Unless you deal with the cause of the initial self harm period, you will not succeed. You will harm yourself in other ways, eg. smoking, drinking, kicking the cat, etc.
The need to hurt themselves usually comes from emotions that are very difficult to cope with. Young people might self-harm because it's a way of releasing tension or anger. It's a physical pain that they can deal with, rather than an emotional feeling that they find hard to cope with.
The root problem starts here: Firstly, you need to change your thoughts. Do not believe what people say about you! You are created by God and as such you are dearly loved by him. The suffering you endure can only be coped with if you know someone loves you dearly and one day they will take you to a place where there is no more pain. That someone does exist. It is God, your Creator and Sustainer. In the Injeel, the last book before the Quran, we read:
Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children.'
I strongly advice you to seek knowledge from the cradle to the grave, as the prophet of Islam said. Find out how to become one of God's children as described in the Torah, Zabur and the Injeel. This will only be possible with God's help.
If you wish to learn more about the main message of those books, I do offer an e-mail correspondence course on them. Would you like to do this study?
Please do not hesitate to contact me if I can be of further help in any of the above.