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Question
As salaam walaikum my name is zuheb I am from India 27 years old..
Starting straight away I was in love with my cousin and we had this relationship for 8 years but my parents were not happy with this and her parents gave her away to some guy whom shes now having a very bad relationship as he doesn't even has feelings for her.. Anyways this upsets me a lot and things were going as usual.. One day my closest friend girl said she was interested in me and wanted to marry me.. I thought OK we knew each other for a long time so I sent a proposal and had gone with my family to meet them.. But she was very carrier oriented as she's a doctor .. And was unwilling to relocate and her parents were adamant for me to shift there permanently which was not possible for me.. Eventually my father again said no ..
I am going through intesnse trauma and depression which I cannot explain to anyone and put up a smile everyday for the people.. But from inside i am dead.. I pray I supplicate..
This has hurted me a lot as my own father is not keen seeing me happy as he's not ready to leave his ego or on the first case I would have married the love of my life and things could be so good.. Huh
On the irony my two elder brothers and my younger sister did a love marriage and my dad agreed readily for whom they all married my dad had grudges with them yet still he agreed and they all are married ..
Then y ME !!! It hurts me very much .. Because my dad had a grudge with his sister whom he didn't talk for 30 years !!! He denied my happiness and today I am very hurt depressed everything...
I left the thought of getting married again.... All my dreams and wishes all died with my love .. Being a successful engineer I still have nothing.. I feel empty .. M happy for my siblings that they got what they wanted .. I feel deprived of the same...
I never went against my father did everything he said even left my love for his sake ... But in return did I deserve this?
Before marrying to that stranger sameena(cousin) she said she ll pray that we meet in jannah together like she ll b my wife .. Can she be my wife there forever ... There's not a day that I don't think about this..
Again of my dad says get married I ll do for his sake.. N by Allah I will the keep the best I can for she left everything for me n came to me.. But I don't know .. The only thing I wish is sameena to be my wife up there for here I have left the hope when she gave birth to a baby.. Hhhh I am sorry this is a long story prety sad one also..
I just want to know can sameena be my wife up there .. I ll try to b a good Muslim pray supplicate give sadqa whatever is commanded I will try to fullfil it.. But I just wish to enter paradise with sameena .. I don't ask anything.. Now I hardly ask anything..
Jazak Allah khair

Answer
Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim (In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful)

Assalmalaikum

Dear Brother,

I am sorry to learn about your situation.
However I will suggest that you take a call and get married if its getting much delayed. Even if your father doesn't like it or else you might end up sinning and longing for things which may never happen ( such as your wish to be with your cousin in Janna )

There is a biological requirement and it needs to be fulfilled. Your soul needs to get along with your partner.

Prior to finalization I suggest you may do istikhara


When one does istikhara, he actually supplicates to Allah about his intentions in regards to a particular work. If that particular deed (marriage/job) etc is good for him and will benefit him, then he will be able to perform that deed, if not then Allah will block him.





Istikhara
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Bukhari Vol 2, Book 21. prayer At Night (Tahajjud). Hadith 263.
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Narrated By Jabir bin 'Abdullah  : The Prophet (p.b.u.h) used to teach us the way of doing Istikhara (Istikhara means to ask Allah to guide one to the right sort of action concerning any job or a deed), in all matters as he taught us the Suras of the Qur'an. He said, "If anyone of you thinks of doing any job he should offer a two Rakat prayer other than the compulsory ones and say (after the prayer): 'Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi'ilmika, Wa astaqdiruka bi-qudratika, Wa as'alaka min fadlika al-'azlm Fa-innaka taqdiru Wala aqdiru, Wa ta'lamu Wala a'lamu, Wa anta 'allamu l-ghuyub. Allahumma, in kunta ta'lam anna hadha-l-amra Khairun li fi dini wa ma'ashi wa'aqibati amri (or 'ajili amri wa'ajilihi) Faqdirhu wa yas-sirhu li thumma barik li Fihi, Wa in kunta ta'lamu anna hadha-lamra shar-run li fi dini wa ma'ashi wa'aqibati amri (or fi'ajili amri wa ajilihi) Fasrifhu anni was-rifni anhu. Waqdir li al-khaira haithu kana Thumma ardini bihi.' (O Allah! I ask guidance from Your knowledge, And Power from Your Might and I ask for Your great blessings. You are capable and I am not. You know and I do not and You know the unseen. O Allah! If You know that this job is good for my religion and my subsistence and in my Hereafter... (or said: If it is better for my present and later needs). Then You ordain it for me and make it easy for me to get, And then bless me in it, and if You know that this job is harmful to me In my religion and subsistence and in the Hereafter... (or said: If it is worse for my present and later needs). Then keep it away from me and let me be away from it. And ordain for me whatever is good for me, And make me satisfied with it). The Prophet added that then the person should name (mention) his need.

The dua is available in arabic text in the following website

http://islamnatural.com/istikhara.htm

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Its my duty to help those in need. You are free to ask as many questions as you like.

If you are not convinced or feel the answer did not address all your questions, pls write back immediately without any hesitation. Please do forgive me if there is an unexpected delay in replying.

rg
Ahmer

Pls spare some time and see these small video clips.


hijab
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qg3C1WpX3N8

which is the best religion - how to identify the true scripture
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIcl0ZAF6ZU

why is islam the best religion - 15point explanation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atOexGJC88U

love affairs & Islam
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9xAj7Aeg-w

Riba
http://www.dailymotion.com/islamnatural

( Note: I am not a mufti, if you are in doubt or want 100% accuracy please verify the above hadith with an authentic personality. However I have not altered any hadith and presented it as and how it was found. May Allah forgive our mistakes from time to time...ameen.)

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Ahmer Afaq

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Solutions strictly from the Quran and the authentic Hadiths. ****** website www.islamnatural.com ****** Do pose your questions and see the difference in our answers.

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Preaching Islam since childhood, and further gained commanding knowledge of almost every affairs of the religion though authentic books and attending lectures by notable scholars of Islam

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Bachelors degree in Commerce Diploma in Electronics Engg.

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