Near Death Experiences / Afterlife Studies/fear of death ,NDE and obe


Dear Greg
How do you overcome the fear of death. I am 60 and everyday I live with adrenaline pumping through my body at the very thought of death. I have purchased many NDE books but  even though they make me feel better about the afterlife it is the actual moment of death that frightens me, How do you rid yourself of this hideous fear. Do you believe with all your heart that there is life after death. Can you describe it to me, Paint me a picture so to speak so I can use that picture in my mind to try and overcome the negative terrified thoughts of death. They say the soul leaves the body at the time of death so one does not experience pain or fear ,but I beg to differ,I have watched death up close and personal and the soul had not left the body and that person was aware  that he was dying, I can still see his terrified eyes.
this haunts me. I have experienced one episode of OBE, and also had a dream in which my love one appeared and it seemed so real as I was not quite asleep and there was an explosion in my head then I could see my deceased love one in my third eye. was it a dream? it seemed to real to me. Thank you for taking the time to read and hopefully answer this post  Any help would be much appreciated

Hello Rosemay,

Thank you for writing to me at AllExpertsNear Death Experience (NDE)Afterlife Studies with your concerns. I will answer the majority of your questions but will also have to direct you to outside sources to ensure that you are getting all the answers and help you need.

You have written to me before regarding your debilitating fear of death and the dying process. I suggested that read up on NDE. I am glad to see that you took my advice. I am sorry that it wasn't as effective as I hoped.

Reading your letters, I believe that you have mistaken dying as death. Dying is a process, death is the outcome or result. It is not until the life force has exhausted itself (dying# that the body becomes "dead". If the body is "clinically" dead, modern medicine, or an occasional stroke of luck or happenstance may allow the life force, and hence the soul, to reunite with the body resulting in an NDE. As well, according to Tibetan Buddhist belief, the vital centers shut down in order once dead. This is rather like turning a computer off. Clicking "shut down" does not immediately turn off the PC. First, it closes operating programs and saves data... then the PC shuts off. The Tibetan belief is more or less my belief. These 5 vital centers may shut down slowly or immediately. If immediately, chances of resuscitation are nil. The person is then "chronically dead". It is at this time that the soul, personal consciousness, or life force #chi, prana, or what have you# leaves the body.

Based on the above, you saw both processes: dying and the resulting death. Your error is in thinking that the soul leaves while one is dying. And that is why he was aware of dying. The process is not the same as the result. Dying is not dead. I too have watched people die. My younger brother's dying period was a week was the type of death that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Usually, those who pass softly from dying to death are those who may see the other side, or see deceased loved ones waiting for them. However, in most of these cases, the dying person is expecting their life's end. In cases where the person dies quickly  as if by accident or murder, the soul might "pop" out of the body unaware of what has happened. Instances like these often result in a ghost who believes that it is still alive.

Your description of your dream & OBE have a similarity to them. Both occurred while you were in bed and in the waking stage. What you had likely experience was a hypnopompic episode brought about by stress. Stress is an important factor in your troubles.

You are suffering from what is termed as "Death Anxiety #DA#" and/or "Post-traumatic Stress Disorder #[PTSD]#". DA is a cousin of PTSD, as they both deal with trauma and associated obsessional intrusive thoughts. I believe that the trauma of witnessing your loved one's horrific death is the cause of your obsession. Below is a list of symptoms that could indicate PTSD:

- Intrusive & recurrent memories of the event

- Recurrent & distressing dreams of the event

- Intense distress in response to reminders of the event

- A sense of foreboding about the future

- Significant psychiatric symptoms as generalized anxiety, panic attacks, sleep disturbances & nightmares

- Physical symptoms as irritability, increased worry & obsessions

The above is a partial list and is no way meant to be diagnostic.

Rosemay, you are going to have to take a proactive, self-efficacy stand. The first step would be to seek help from a qualified medical professional. What you have is an illness that can be treated. I will stress that in NO WAY you are a "mental case or loony". Please seek the advice of a Psychiatrist. S/he will be in the best position to help you. Traumatic disorders fall into their expertise. I can not stress strongly enough of how important this 2nd step of recovery is #Your first step was contacting me.#. I have gone as far as I will to help you as this is a psychological/psychiatric issue. I am stepping outside my boundaries and my ethics. Incidentally, by going to seek help, I do not mean via the internet. You need face-to-face, one-on-one counseling.

As for painting a picture of the afterlife... I'm no verbal Rembrandt so I will leave that to the pros. I will follow-up with a list of books that will do a better job than I ever could.

In closing, you have contacted me for my expert advice. I hope with heart & soul that you strongly consider it, and weigh seeking outside medical help against continuing to exist as you are now.

Very sincerely,

Greg Pocha/AllExperts/NDE/Afterlife Studies

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Greg Pocha


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Greg has intensively studied Thanatology [the study of death and dying], Near-Death Experience [NDE], Shared Death Experience [SDE] and After Death Studies including Life After Death/Life After Life and proposed this category to AllExperts to share his knowledge to the public in a compassionate and understanding manner. Greg specializes in Near Death, Shared Death and After-life Studies as well as Pre-death and Death Bed Experiences. Greg will make all attempts to help you with general information regarding your concerns or will make every effort to give you referrals. He will not answer questions that are related to religion or that are religious in nature.

  • NOTE: This category is for the answering of questions pertaining to Death, Dying, Thanatology, Near Death Experiences, Shared Death Experiences, Death Bed Visions, Survival of Consciousness, Afterlife Study. For questions about the "paranormal" see below.

  • Questions concerning Preternatural Phenomena, Ghosts, Hauntings or Paranormal Activity should be directed to the following AllExperts link: AllExperts: Paranormal Phenomena
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    During his studies in Parapsychology Greg decided to expand his education to include the sciences. He immediately developed a keen interest in not only the after life, but in the events that proceed it. Therefore he became knowledgeable in Thanatology, Death, the Dying Process as well as being extremely well versed in Afterlife Studies [Life After Death and the Survival of Consciousness], Near Death and Shared Death Experiences, Pre-Death Visions including Death Bed Visions/Experiences and all related subjects and theories including medical research and professional journal writings.

    Greg is currently working toward a Diploma in Advanced Parapsychology. Outside of practical hands-on experience and field work for over a decade, he owns a private reference library, exceeding 900 books, dealing with his areas of interest. This ever growing library is available should references need to be made to help in answering your questions. Volumes include works by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, MD., Robert Hatch, Sam Parnia, MD. Ph.D., Therese Rando, Ph.D., PMH Atwater, LHD., Raymond Moody, MD., Jeffery Long MD., Melvin Morse, MD., Craig Lundahl, Ph.D., Harold Widdison, Ph.D., Eben Alexander, MD., George Ritchie, MD., Maurice Rawlings, MD., et. al. Greg's on-going involvement in research and education is unending.

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