Near Death Experiences / Afterlife Studies/life review for those with autism
I have read quite a bit about near death experiences. However, I keep reading about the life review. Specifically, I have fears of the part of the life review where I would experience the emotions of all of those I have (unintentionally) hurt. One person who came back did say that painful parts that she had asked forgiveness for were erased from the review and she did not have to experience them. However, she said that she had to experience many more painful moments that she was unaware of.
The problem is, I am autistic and didn't have any theory of mind until my mid-thirties; I am still very limited in it. I had no idea others experienced the world differently and had no idea that everyone I met didn't have my background knowledge with which to frame the things I did and said. Even though I now know I'm autistic, it is literally impossible to know when I'm doing or saying something wrong, and so I just don't interact. But even non-interaction hurts peoples's feelings! (a side note, there is no way for me to "learn" these things beyond the very basic. Socially, I am at the level of a first or second grader).
I had sometimes looked forward to the afterlife but now I am afraid because I might have to experience all the hurt feelings in others, that I cannot control. What would be the purpose of a life review for people like me, who were born with defective brains?
Thank you for writing to me at All Experts / Near Death Experiences and Afterlife Studies with your excellent question, and one that I an certain that most people with a conscience have considered if they believe in the chances of there being an afterlife. And I'll bet the farm that even non-believers consider it when they are approaching their last breath. But what makes yours compelling is the question of having an abnormality of the mind. There are few in the "scientific" or medical world that will agree with me that the mind is not the brain and the brain is not the mind, that they are separate entities that are tied together during life but the brain, being physical, turns to mush after death as it is a physical thing. The mind however survives death. The mind has no substance. Think of it this way, think of someone whom you love. That love exists, it is real to you. But try to put a sample of that love into a jar and send it to someone. Despite the love, a product of the brain and a part of the mind, existing and being real, it is intangible. It would be the same idea as if I asked you to put a sample of Washington gravity in a jar so that I could compare it to Edmonton gravity. It can't be done. The mind is a field like gravity.
The life review has only become common knowledge during the last half century thanks to pioneers in the field of Near Death Experience [NDE], despite it's being reported since antiquity. When books started appearing on the market, barely any mentioned anything that was not positive about the review. It consisted of a panoramic view of all of one's doings during their life time, the good and the bad and how it effected others allowing us to see and feel things from their point of view. Your spirit guide is with you, as he / she has been since before your birth. They are not there to judge, as in honesty there is no judgment regarding your actions except by your self. Your guide will point out where things could have gone better, how your actions affected those around you. But the guides comments are to help us learn and understand, with neither reward nor punishment. The spirit realm is a place of learning, and our time on earth is one of those lessons. Keep in mind that we do not leave the womb with a handbook of instructions or a road map [with no disrespect to the faithful, I hardly consider "Holy" books much of a help. Honestly, can you imagine what "Gods" life review would be like, genocide, homicide, punishing the innocent, etc., Oy Vay!!!].
You are not "punished" for having a disease. Even Joan of Arc was likely suffering from schizophrenia, temporal lobe epilepsy, or other psychotic abnormality. Your intentions were innocent, and the most important part is that you care. That alone counts for a lot. You must also keep in mind that during the review you will also feel what others felt due to all of the good things that you have done. You will feel their happiness, their love, their admiration, and so much more because of you actions that caused these feelings. People always fear the bad. However it has been said that in the light one good deed is worth ten times that of one intentional bad deed, and your were for the most part unintentional.
So in my opinion you have nothing to fear in your life review. In parapsychology we have a saying, "As in life, so in death". Your mind, which in essence is your soul, is created day by day during your life. This is what is "you", your personality and your very essence, your likes, your hates... your individuality. My advice to you is to live your life remembering that along the journey "stuff" happens. You have NOTHING to fear from the review. You look at your life and you are allowed to make your own judgment. That does not in any way mean that you condemn your self. But that you learn from your errors. Spirit guides will also feel what you feel. And they will help you understand.
Do not avoid going into the light. Incidentally I am also the top expert on the category of "Ghosts and Hauntings" at All Experts. One of the many reasons that people do not enter the light is because of the fear of judgment, assuming that they will be condemned to Hell's fire. So they spend their after death existence in between the world of the spirits in the light and the world of the living existing in the ghost realm. You don't want to end up there. There is no hell. There is no punishment. The light is the place of unconditional forgiveness and love, of pure compassion and peace. I have not lead a perfect life, who has, but upon my death I'm heading into the tunnel and going into the light. I will learn from my deeds and get on to living my new life.
To close, I need to mention that any abnormalities, defects, disease, or other bodily or mental conditions that adversely affect ones life cease to exist upon death with the exception of many ghosts who due to whatever reason keep their condition, thus explaining headless ghosts.
I know that I have only touched on this subject and that you may have more questions or concerns. Please feel free to contact me and I'll do my best to give you understandable answers that are not cloaked in metaphysical or mystical trash. And I hope that this reply has helped you in some way.
Director of Parapsychology and Paranormal Studies,
EPC - Eidolon Project Canada