Near Death Experiences / Afterlife Studies/Dream visitation 2
Exactly 3 months after the suicide of my only son and family, 24, last year, during which I was in total despair and distress, I had the following dream visitation by him (while I was trying to sleep in).
I was driving my car in a foggy weather (very bad visibility) and trying to embark on the highway and was afraid that the police may stop me because I was not even seeing well the ramp. Finally I managed to get on the highway and kept driving. All of a sudden I turn my head and see him on the passenger seat right beside me, very close, with a cracking smile, exactly the same, same handsome face, crystal clear, looking a few years younger. Then telepathically he makes me turn my head to the left (as if telepathically, without talking, he told me: ‘look to the left’), and then I see this image displayed on a road billboard of a cleaning product (something like a detergent). Then I start laughing and ask him; ‘Why, do you want to do some cleaning?’ And he answers ‘Well, no!’ and he starts laughing loud, his shoulders are shaking with laughter exactly the way he used to laugh, his face illuminated by laughter, so much like him, his spitting image, so clear, so vivid and real. But the most AMAZING thing in the dream was that he was glowing, there was this subtle metallic-silver glow surrounding him, as if he were lit from inside. Then I realized he was not supposed to be alive and pop into my car and I thought I had to ask him how he got in my car. And I started pulling over (‘cause I was afraid if I ask him while driving I may get too emotional and lose control and have an accident). But then all of a sudden he just vanished from my car and I woke up and jumped from my bed in a TOTAL euphoria, jumping with joy, as if somebody had injected energy in my body. I was completely transformed by this visitation and my sadness disappeared for quite a while. This dream was the beginning of my healing. It gave me energy and hope.
May I hope for another visitation or am I expecting too much? It seems the only hope I have to keep living without him is that I may have another communication. The moment I think that I may never 'hear' from him again I become desperate and extremely sad.
ANSWER: Hello "G",
Thank you for writing to me at All Experts, Near Death Experiences and Afterlife Studies with your story and your questions. First off, please allow me this opportunity to express my sympathy for your loss. Secondly I would like to express my congratulations for what you have gained.
Before I start your answer I do have to address the last paragraph. I do not like the undertones when I read between the lines. You may not have another visit from him so vividly. Please understand that this has nothing to do with you. To balance your future on expecting another communication; to become disparate and extremely sad is the exact OPPOSITE of what your son was trying to convey. The reason that I address this is because suicide is usually symptomatic of a psychological issue. Often times it is inherited. If your son was suffering from depression or any similar disorder, then there is a chance that you have it too. Spontaneous suicide, where one just decides to kill themselves on a whim without cause or reason is extremely rare. I am in no way indicating that you have psychological issues other than the grieving and stress that you are currently feeling. But if things get worse you must seek medical help immediately. Depression and the like are caused by chemical and neuron behavior and are therefore by default a physiological, not mental, concern. Please understand that I added this paragraph because of my ethics and my concern. To continue....
I am not a huge believer in "dream messages". Freud loved the idea, Jung thought otherwise. I'm on Jung's side - again. Walk down the aisles of any major book store and you'll find a massive amount of dream interpretation books. Not that the practice is in any way new, but it has certainly become new age. That being said I do believe that if the circumstances are right, then a visitation from somebody who has passed over and went into the light is possible. This, in my professional opinion, is what happened to you that morning.
If I may, I will add a dash of science here to show you how such an event could occur. I believe that you were most likely dreaming in the Low Theta to High Delta stage of brainwave activity, I would estimate ~3 Hz. It is at this stage where the conscious mind stops filtering out the subconscious mind where you can still dream but still allow you to tap into the psychic frequencies. However, since you son was in spirit form, the exact hertz is less important because he would be able to fine tune it from his end, so to speak. [I've attached a chart]. There is no doubt scientifically, specifically medically that this is a fact [the brainwave frequencies, not the visitation]. Where the argument will come in is where there is disagreement as to the validity of the vision. Scientists as a rule, need facts facts, facts.
In my opinion you were visited by your son when the frequencies were in sync enabling the meeting. It is important that whether the frequencies are in sync again in the future to assume that another contact automatic connection will be made [spirits do have a life to live]. I'll explain why this single visit had such great significance.
The message was clear to me, but before I explain as to why, I will relate some information and a story to accompany it. It is generally thought of [mostly by differing religions] that people who commit suicide are forced to live out what would have been the remainder of their appointed time on earth in a type of limbo, the ghost realm between the spirit realm of the light and the living earthly realm. Some believe that damnation of the soul to hell is a given. But I can tell you with certainty that this is not the fact for all cases [and that there is no hell]. Yes, some will remain behind as ghosts for whatever their personal reason is. But other suicide victims do indeed go directly into the tunnel and hence into the light. To enforce this, an Episcopal bishop by the name of James Pike lost his son, James Pike Jr. [Jim] to a suicide just as they were begin a process of bonding after sorting out issues. A short time later "paranormal" events started to occur. Apparently it was Jim attempting to make contact with his dad. Jim had gone into the light, and needed his father to know, 1- that he was alright and in the process of healing and learning and 2- that he died by accidentally discharge of the gun, [my facts may not be 100% as I read the book long ago and it is in storage at the moment]. May I suggest that you find the book and give it a read.
Your son had the opportunity to be allowed to have a visit with you. The fact that he had an inner glow is because he was a being of the light. Obviously he had either decided to go there directly himself, or upon his death there were those waiting for him [predeceased family and friends] to guide him into the light. Needless to say he is neither damned nor in the ghostly limbo. All beings of the light 'glow'. When seen by the living some describe it as an aura or halo, but apparently we have those while alive, so it is the glowing from within that says to me that you son is in a spirit, and that is a good thing as far as afterlife goes. It is no surprise that he looked radiant and younger. When spirits appear to people they often decide to look the way they did when they were happiest, apparently that was a few years ago. Sometimes a deceased grandmother may appear to a child who has had a Near Death Experience. When this happens his description of the woman as his grandmother is only discovered should he see an old photograph of her when she was younger, when she was happiest. Incidentally, robes are the common fashion in the light.
Your son had to find the billboard incident very amusing, as do I as I can't help but to smile each time I think of it, because the meaning is obvious in it's obscurity. It was not what the billboard was advertising that mattered; the clue once recognized shows its real meaning. He was showing you A SIGN! - a sign that he was okay and that although in a different state of existence he is alive, health and happy. If I hazard a guess, he had a dry sense of humor, and that is what amused him when you didn't recognize a 'sign' when you saw one. A sign, not a mere dream: a visitation.
"G", this might never happen again and do not be surprised if a full body "apparition" of him is never seen again. The purpose of his visit and the sign [grin], was to help you heal and get on with living. He couldn't have been more obvious in trying to tell you 1- he is still alive, 2- that he is happy about where he is, and 3- "...pull it together mom, get on with living while you can because we'll be together when your time comes, I'll be there personally with a huge smile on my face to greet you... but until then know that there is an afterlife and that you need to heal and 'Full stream ahead!'" If you keep going the way you are you are apt to do something rash. You have every right to mourn, grieve and to feel the confusion that goes hand in hand when a cherished one commits suicide. It is a different process than say losing a person in a hospice where death is expected, or dying from old age. You're allowed time to heal and accept, and to lose any thought of 'guilt' that so often is felp by loved one when this happens [why didn't I see it, what did I do wrong, if only, if only, if only...]
Here' is why I am concerned with your stability right now. It is very, very rare for a new soul that has entered the light to be given the chance to leave it. Three months is a short time. For this to have happened both he and his spirit guide [an old experienced soul and teacher] felt it necessary enough to facilitate a visit from your son. Obviously they felt it necessary to intervene for your own safety because they saw in the future that you were going to do something stupid and irreversible. Can you imagine how your son is feeling right now? Read over your last paragraph in the letter you sent me. That is exactly what he is trying to stop, and this is exactly how he is seeing you. Believe me, at his state it took a lot for that visit to happen. To not see the sign would break his heart.
I will advise you to NOT see a psychic or a medium in an attempt to force a visit or communication. It won't work. Where your son is now is very much like the earth realm, except there is total peace, serenity, well being [no one is sick or crippled there, literally the blind see, the deaf hear and the cripple walk, as without a body, there can be no imperfection. [why did your son show himself with a body? This is how you would recognize him best. That and you are allowed a body in the light. To get back, it is in the light is where souls learn and advance and evolve. Living is just a dress rehearsal.
In your letter you state that after the visit that you were in,"...TOTAL euphoria, jumping with joy, as if somebody had injected energy in my body." Well my friend, that is what he wanted and that is what he EXPECTS! If you don't want your butt kicked when it is finally your time to move on, I suggest you take his sign at heart and Carpe Diem!
You may feel his presence on special occasions such a Christmas and birthdays and maybe wedding of someone close to him. That is another sign that he is still alive. Should that happen, rejoice! Do not be saddened... what is sad about a loved one being happy, at peace and ALIVE!
I honestly hope that I have reached you and helped you understand what has happened. My Associate Director has been waiting for a sign from her grandfather for a long long time. It never happens. You were blessed, and warned. Your son loves you and cares for your future. Don't disappoint him. To end, I hope that I didn't come off as preaching.
Director of Parapsychology, Afterlife and Paranormal Studies,
Eidolon Project Canada,
Edmonton, Red Deer, Calgary, Alberta
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QUESTION: https://www.psychologytod anday.com/blog/dream-catcher/201110/visitation-dreams
Dear Mr Pocha,
I thank you SO MUCH for your considerate, detailed answer to my question. I feel truly privileged. Thank you for your time and thoughtful attention. I certainly don’t think it comes off as preaching at all. Your message really helped me with my grieving process and gave me strength to get on with my healing.
I’ve been doing in-depth research on the ‘paranormal’ (a misleading term, I think) for years, reading on psychiatry, psychology even before my son passed away. I spend most of my time actually doing this (after work and on the weekends). I spend hours every day. I am glad that the conclusions I came to after my dream visitation are so close to yours.
My son was an extremely sensitive, spiritual being who thought he did not belong to this planet and could not fit in our world. It is a long story, but let’s say he was torn by a painful existential crisis and turmoil and was questioning the concepts of free will, freedom, space and time, cosmic justice. I don’t know whether he tuned in accidentally or he ‘provoked’ it, but at some point he seemed to live part of the time in an alternative reality. He started writing compulsively things about the universe. He felt entrapped in his body in a way…Is he an old soul? Probably. I am very sensitive and intuitive myself, but unlike him I am grounded too.
I am well aware that I may not have another visit from him. And yes, that saddens me a lot as a single ‘mother’. He was my meaning of life and now I have to find a new one. I was his world and he was mine. I have no intention of doing anything rash, but the process of finding a new meaning is extremely painful. My readings seem to ease it. The new research in quantum physics, neuroscience, universe and everything related to consciousness (the larger consciousness as Tom Campbell calls it in his Big Toe) gives me hope.
I am aware of the fact that I was truly blessed to get this dream visitation and also think that my son must have being helped by his guides to be able to achieve it. Not that I feel blessed to having lost my only son to suicide, a son to whom I have dedicated my whole life. We were so close and attached to each other that I am convinced this was not our first life together on earth.
As far as the dream message is concerned and your comment on Jung, I thought that actually he believed in dream messages, hence one of his quotes “We have forgotten the age-old fact that God speaks chiefly through dreams and visions.” And Jung also talks about big dreams, etc. I also found his description of his near-death experience fascinating.
Thanks for your explanation of the Theta brainwaves. I was convinced that my communicating with him at around 9 am was not a coincidence. The curious thing was that I spent the whole day/evening preceding the event doing research on dream visitations, crying and praying (given that I am not religious at all, only spiritual). I must have being surrounded by a black cloud of negative, heavy energy, the reason why I was surprised he managed to get through it and connect with me. It is not easy to establish such a connection while one is grieving so deeply. Actually he first ‘visited’ his best friend, continued with a colleague of mine who is a medium and I was number 3. And yes, I explained the glow with his being in spirit and yet, it was so amazing to see this subtle metallic silver glow! I realized after I ‘woke up’ that the billboard thing was a sign, but unlike you, I think, the message was not coincidental. My take is that the ‘cleaning product’ was a message he delivered, suggesting I do some cleaning in my life, i.e. get rid of the negative emotions, heavy past, past burdens, and start a new one. At least that is my interpretation.
This visitation to a great extent transformed me. My life does not hang on his communicating with me again, but I am still struggling with accepting his physical absence. Nothing helps me more than my research in the field of the spirit world. I am not a scientist, I only have a MA in theoretical linguistics, but my interest in the field is remarkably strong (and so was my son’s).
The curious thing is that Raymond Moody is writing a new book in conjunction with a linguist (I don’t remember her name), his latest research being focused on the ‘nonsense’ dying people talk just before they die. They both try to analyze what is behind what seems to be a ‘nonsensical’ talk. I cannot wait to buy it.
I would be so interested in getting involved in any associations or groups involved in activities related to any parapsychology research or related activities. It is more than a hobby for me. Any suggestions are welcome. I am planning a visit to Monroe Institute in Virginia in next autumn.
Incidentally, your Eidolon project seems very interesting!!!
And again, Mr Pocha, a heartfelt thanks for your thoughtful and insightful reply.
ANSWER: Hi there,
I do agree with you about Jung. What I poorly attempted to say is that he was in disagreement with Freud as to the way that dreams should be interpreted and that some dreams could hold psychical meaning while others could just be a dream for the sake of just being a dream, or in his words, scheisse happens! Also that every dream was not psycho-sexual in nature. Sometimes trains actually enter tunnels without an agenda other than getting to the other side of the tunnel.
I admire Jung because he had an open mind regarding the possibility of psychic phenomena. The break up between Freud and Jung had two main elements. 1- Jung was sick of Freud's holier than thou attitude, regarding himself as peerless and 2- the differences in their belief regarding paranormal events... such as the raps from the bookcase incident.
Out of respect for Jung I keep his book on dreams and Freud's book on dreams separated on the shelf.
Thank you for the kind words. Have a fantastic summer and take care!
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QUESTION: Hello Greg,
Thank you so much for the additional comments on Freud and Jung. It is very appreciated. I have a lot of admiration for Jung myself. A bit more reserved re Freud:)
I am also writing this message to share with you something else: your predictions came true and I had another dream visitation last Sunday May 22 at around 9h50 am. This one was really unexpected! I have been visualizing for quite a while giving a big hug to my late son, as if I am trying to remember how it felt to hold him tight in my arms. He was (is) very affectionate and words fail me to describe how much I miss his physical presence. I also went back to yoga, restarted meditating and went to a very mystic and energetic place in April - Machu Picchu in Peru, the Nazca lines, Iguazu Falls in Argentina, etc. During this trip I was trying to connect to the higher energy, if I can put it this way.
Anyway, in my 'dream' I was sitting in the bathroom and all of a sudden I heard the tap in the sink flowing. I looked up and saw him standing at the sink, just beside me, so close, brushing his teeth, kind of ignoring my presence (?), or as if 'invading' my privacy was no big deal and it was ok for us to share this space. Still trying to figure it out. Anyway. I kept repeating his name seized by emotion, he turned towards me continuing to brush his teeth, but he did not smile this time, actually he was not surprised to see me there, his face expression did not change or as if he knew I was there; I got up and I wondered for a second before giving him a big hug whether my arms would feel his body or they would remain suspended in the air passing through his etheric body. Well, he was solid! The funny thing is that I gave him a hug while he continued to brush his teeth...And even though the light in the bathroom was lit, he was still surrounded by this subtle glow or at least that's how I saw him. I woke up right after the hug and of course was very happy. I did not experience the elation of my first visitation, but it was still very enjoyable and besides, finally, I experienced the physical touch I craved for so long.
I wonder whether you'll have a little time to give me your take on this dream (visitation).
Thank you so much in advance, Mr Pocha!
And have a lovely summer you too!
I am sorry about the late reply, I have been having mail issues.
I am happy about the opportunity that you had to get to hold your son again. Brushing his teeth... hmmmm... there seems to be a cleansing connection. You may want to have your home smudged. The reason is that you have wished for spirit contact. If only the spirit you wanted to contact came through things would be all hunky-dory. However the truth is that a door has been opened, and there are a lot of nasties from the ghost realm who might try to enter that door.
You have to do two things, the first is easy. Every day ask that your Spirit Guide, your Guardians and your Gate-keeper (Astral Bouncer/Bodyguard) to surround your home and fill your being with the pure white light of protection. Imagine a golden-white light above you and mentally visualize it entering the top of your head, traveling down to your heart,to your solar plexus down your arms and legs to the soles of your feet allowing the light to fill you completely. Imagine your home surrounded by a bubble of that same protective light.
Secondly, and harder is that you will have to learn which are visitations and which are dreams. Freud or not, some dreams are based on "wish fulfillment". In time you should learn how to differentiate between the two. To be honest, the visitations should happen with less frequency if your son is in the light. It is one thing for him to visit you at this time as you are still questioning and graving. If is is a spirit, he has things to do to further his spiritual development. To continually "pull him out of class" may impede his progress and evolution. On the rare chance that he is trying to tell you that he is a ghost and not of the light, you need to have a talk with him. This may seem silly, but you'll be alone so no one will think you're talking to the walls. Inform him that he has physically pass over, be blunt if needed, and tell him that it is time to move on into the light. Tell him that you will be okay and that you both have a life ahead of you. Tell him that his Guide can take him into the light and that his per-deceased family, loved ones and friends are waiting there for him (if he had a favorite pet who passed it will be there too).
Even if he has gone into the light, which is my opinion, the talk can not hurt. He will only see it as love and concern and will smile. When in the light, one is love, unconditional forgiveness and in bless. So G, some will be dreams, and some will be visitations, but the visitations will lessen. That by noway means that he is not "there" with you. That is a given.
Ciao for now,
Director of Parapsychology, Afterlife and Paranormal Studies,
Eidolon Project Canada Paranormal Investigation,
Edmonton, Calgary, Red Deer, Alberta, Canada