About Deborah Leigh Expertise I teach and guide others into finding their lives and true spirit selves using a deck of playing cards as a focal point for personal perception. I am able to answer all questions pertaining to relationships (dating, marriage, friendship, etc.), career decisions, you name it - all of Life's great mysteries can be ascertained from a deck of ordinary playing cards. The method I use for achieving intuitive insight from playing cards readily opens doors for the mind, heart and spirit to help us find true happiness, love and a deeper sense of self in life.
Experience I have taught this method, Personal Prophesy, to the public for the last 24 years.
Publications I have been a newspaper columnist offering advice for over 12 years; I have also been a content provider for Astronet.com, iVillage.com and women.com in the past.
Education/Credentials I am a certified holistic health practitioner and also the subject matter expert on the principles of Personal Prophesy, the method I use in my teachings.
Past/Present Clients I have a wide assortment who have been with me, nationally and internationally, for over ten years.
Question Hi. I was with my partner for over 6 years. I have a son from a previous marriage, and we have 2 sons and a newborn daughter together. In mid-November, I discovered he'd been having an affair since last March, with his former boss, who was married to his other boss. Upon the reveal, he remained w/ this woman. He hasn't spent time w/ the kids since then, and he missed birthdays, the holidays, and his daughter's birth. Only recently has he apologized, and told me how terrible he feels. But, he remains in a relationship w/ his affair partner. He doesn't feel it's an affair any longer, since I know they're together. I feel, it is still an affair, as I have no answers, and he can't be honest w/ our children, and it's a mess of deceit.
I want him to come back to my family. To be around my children and work to make it right. I just don't know how it can be done while he's still with her. People keep telling me their relationship won't last long, because it can't, because of the way it started, the price paid by those involved, etc. I'd like to think that the universe works that way too! But, I just don't know. I can forgive him. My oldest son said he can start to forgive, if Greg (my partner) stops seeing the other woman to work on our family. Is this likely? What do you sense for my future? I don't feel like I need him, but I do want to be around him, and I do want to work through our issues to a place of understanding. He keeps saying he wants to go to counseling. Again, my instinct makes me feel like, if we are working in counseling, but he still has another girlfriend, we really can't move through anything, as he'll keep going to her w/ it, and it's in her interest for us to have strife! This is difficult to condense, sorry about that. Any insights you may have are appreciated. My meditations tell me he will want to come back for the children, but will find that he respects me in a new way and that we are not through in our journey together as people who love one another. What that means, well, I'm not certain!
Many thanks and blessings to you.
Answer Dear Paula,
First, please know that I truly feel for you. I have had to cope with the same kind of situation in my own life in the past. As much as family and friends may try to rally around you and give their support, I know from my own experience that the pain doesn't lessen and the nightmare only seems to continue as you try to come to grips with such a heartbreaking situation.
Right off the top, my perception is that your meditations are on target where Greg is concerned. He is going to want to get back together with you and the kids. He is basically like a man gone crazy at the moment, but the fact that he expresses a desire to go to counseling, I'm perceiving, is definitely a step in the right direction.
As much as you hate the idea of going through counseling with him while he's still in his relationship with this other woman, I urge you to consider it.
My perception is that he wants to go to counseling, not to find an easy way out of his relationship with you but to help him get his head screwed on straight. Think about it: If he was entirely committed emotionally to this other woman, he would simply leave you and the kids in his dust and not look back. He would just be...gone.
If you agree to go to counseling with him, it will give the two of you the chance to find your way back to each other. In all my years of experience, people do survive such breaches of trust and fidelity even under the most extreme circumstances. From what I see conducting this reading for you, the two of you owe it to yourselves to give counseling a chance.
You wrote that you "can forgive him," and that is a huge step for you to take, Paula, both emotionally and spiritually. It says that you have enough heart, enough maturity and enough goodness in you to accept the fact that he's made an extremely grievous mistake in judgment.
He'll come to realize in the not-too-distant future that he *has* made such a terrible mistake. As long as you are strong enough to keep that door open where he can admit how deeply he's wronged you and his children (and he will), and you can ultimately forgive him, I see nothing but promise in your reading that the two of you will get back together.
Even though it will take some time for him to come to this important realization for himself, you'll actually get a better man back in the process as a result of that affair.
Keep meditating and believing in your love for this man, Paula. I have nothng but faith that what is 'meant to be' will come to pass for the two of you.
