First off, I try not to be superstitious. But since the past 3 years, I have been going through ups and downs and it's zapped a lot of positivity from me. Sorry for this post being long, but I want to describe everything in some detail.
I think it is very important in my life to take responsibility for my doings. But a lot of what has happened has tested me in ways I wouldn't have expected. Bad things certainly happen over a period to all people, but I feel there is something very negative in the things I am encountering - and which I have no control over either. Especially because I have been doing things very orderly and calculatedly.
My question is : If black magick is being done against you, is there a way you can find out? I live a fairly busy life with work (I lost my job recently though).
Let me summarize the events of the last 3 years:
1. I fell in love with a girl who was in a long term committed relationship while we were friends. I can't communicate with her the way I used to, and people told me things about her which haunt my mind till today (almost 3 years since it happened). She doesn't seem to be doing well and is certainly not the girl I first met.
2. I graduated, most people who know me in the place don't interact with me because they think I tried to use her (I didn't), I went for counseling when our friendship fell apart.
3. During my grad school days, I happened to meet friends who were not popular. I interact with anyone who calls me. They liked me and everything, but hey would (causually, out of ignorance) insult me for my race and my country (I am east Indian, they are white Americans) from time to time.
This friendship became sore and distant at a period because I hid my discomfort from them, but they came to know about it when I told them later. They aren't doing so well either, though I will be visiting them soon and they are very friendly, hospitable people who see me as close to them.
4. The month before I graduated, I got prostatitis (inflammation of the prostate which doesn't allow you to urinate easily, and not have good erections). I have tried medication for more than 1 year with no good effect.
5. I lost my job recently after working for just 6 months. Even though my manager thinks I did a good work (I work as a systems engineer), the decision to remove our team came from a higher level than my immediate manager because of low profits in the department. During this 6 month period too, I had a particular employee (my colleague) who would cling to me for everything to be done, and I couldn't disconnect ties with him because we worked together and I would also feel unkind doing such a thing.
6. I didn't save much through these months because I spent much of my salary (of my previous months on repaying my brother's education loan).
7. I have a pendant of my patron deity from a temple (back in India). I got it in 2013 when I developed feelings for my friend and she started behaving like a different person.
This pendant keeps coming off in one way or another, but has been saved 3 times. The story of this pendant goes even further. The first time I got it, my mom lost it in the train we were taking back in India. When I visited India in 2013, I got another one. This keeps falling off - first it fell off, but fell down and got saved at inside my shoe, I noticed when I got home. Second time, it fell off, but it was inside my house. The third time, it fell off outside a restaurant in downtown when I was with my friends. I came home and realized it wasn't there. I did a search and went to downtown and found it after a small search.
I don't want to be the type of person who doesn't take responsibility for my actions and blame things on black magick. But if these things are true, is there a way to find if someone is sending negative energy my way?
These 3 years have been terrible. I haven't shown my unhappiness to anyone (tried my best). I want to destroy any evil that is affecting me, or even know if there is anything working in my life in these ways.
Life's situations and relationships have their ups and downs, no matter how rational you may be. It is easy to think that black magic is the cause of difficulties, but it suggests that someone else is causing the problem, like you are hexed. The Bible speaks of a spiritual gift called "discerning of spirits." I don't think this necessarily refers to actual spirits as it does to discernment, or the right action, to a situation. If you look at this spiritually, God is the only Power there is. God's purpose is to create goodness and wholeness. This is parallel to the body being designed for wellness. In sickness, the body seeks to maintain wellness. The spirit does the same. No matter the situation, the spirit works for balance and peace. Have you prayed about your situation? Prayer is power. It utilizes the power that created universes. Lay it on the line with God. Use the affirmation: God is creating good in me and in my situations. Pray this, even if you may not feel it at first. It will change the way you look at the world. God is at work in you. Joel