AboutVena McGrath Expertise As the author of a novel about my life online in chat rooms specifically, and a few adventures into online dating, I can answer almost any question anyone could ask about chatting online. The excitement, the adrenalin rush, the manipulation of the mind, the corruption of morals, the danger of stalking and harrassment online and offline, the lies, the secrets. The reality of this `fantasy` is frightening. My book tells a story that hopefully will make anyone who reads it more wary and chatwise than I was when I stumbled upon chat in late 1999 as a naive woman who didn`t have a clue what a chat room on the internet was. I have spent many hours online counselling men and women with broken hearts, wounded pride, and yes, very real fear. My passion is to try to help eradicate the not so good factors out of chat rooms and make them once again fun places where people feel safe.
Experience My experience commenced in June 1999 in international chat rooms and then a move in late September 1999 to chat rooms in Australia. I am still online, have my own chat room, and my first novel titled 'Secrets, Lies & Chat' was published by American-Book Publishing in 2005 and is now available from my website www.secretslieschat.net.au for a very competitive price. I have also released on my website an eBook which is a revised version of Secrets, Lies & Chat and only costs $4.95 5o download in either word or pdf format.
Organizations I belong to many writing organisations online and I belong to the chat room community of BigPond.
Publications Communique - a monthly newspaper produced by the NSW Government Department of Commerce
SMH ICON liftout 'The Net Effect' April 2004
Numerous articles in PoynterOnline
Numerous letters to the editor, SMH
My profile and short stories and articles are all online at AuthorsDen.com and some are posted on my website.
Education/Credentials High School Educated
TAFE Secretarial
Numerous OH&S certificates
Numerous Computer related courses
Question My computer doesn't seem to log all my online chats, is there any way I could find logs held online such as in AOL's database or something? How would I go about getting at some of my old logs? I wasn't sure if this question would be in your expertise but I have another that may be up your alley.
How do I know if someone is lying to me online or not?
Answer Hi Tansy
I don't use AOL so all I can suggest is you do a search on 'AOL chat logs' and follow the links to find your answer. I use IRC chat with a MirC based script and my script does log. I can either turn the log on and it logs every chat session I have or I can turn it off. I find my logs by using windows explorer and finding my script where I have it filed. In the script folder is a logs file and all of the logs are there. I can open them and read them and I can delete them if I choose to.
As for knowing if someone is lying to you or not, there is no cut and dry method to find out the answer. Usually gut instinct is the best tried method as your inner voice knows the truth. If you think this person is lying then you are hearing alarms bells and you would be best to listen to them. Take note of what the person says and note if the story changes.
If you know other people who also know this person, and you trust them, ask them some relevant questions without exactly saying that you think there are lies being told. Unfortunately there aren't many people in chat that you can believe, or that's my finding anyhow after many years online. Many people will say what they think the other person wants to hear especially if they have found the vulnerability of that other person. Also, people you discuss confidential things with will often stab you in the back to further their own agendas.
All I can suggest is my usual three words - be wary, be aware and most of all beware. When you can't see the eyes of the other person or any body language then you have only your own keen instinct to rely on. Rely on it, because mostly you will find that it is dead set right on the ball.
