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Online Chatting/Married, just want to talk to people like me


Jo Jo wrote at 2007-06-06 23:43:31
excellent advice Vena, Also beware of falling for the sob story, Even genuinely needy people are NOT your responsibility, YOU'RE NOT A CHARITY! It might be tempting to think that if someone is simply nice and not asking for cybersex that you should help them. NEVER send money or financial information. But have fun and enjoy interacting with like minded people.

love Jo Jo

Bren wrote at 2008-04-20 07:25:58
I am a 29 year old female widowed about a month ago. My husband and I were together for 7 years. I was on deployment when it happeded and was flown back immediately to grieve, take care of my 2 year old son and our affairs. My husband was a month older than I was and knowing how hard he took seperation I began to look through his computer to make sure that there wasn't a suicide note hiding anywhere. What I found floored me. He had put himself on different match making websites and had responded to craig's list soliciting for sex and friends with benifits. Now after looking further into all of this my heart tells me that my husband did not physically cheat on me, but I would like to emphasize the word physically, because what I found was enough to break my heart and damage my view of my husband and what we ment to each other. Not to mention an extremely difficult time even harder. I know guys can differeniate between sex and love better than women and I know that other than his mom I am the only woman he ever loved. But the words still stung. I am still in love with him and after all that I would take him back in a second if I could, because up until that moment he was truely my soul mate, best friend, better half and the truest love of my life. He was just a man who was lonely and depressed and not getting what he needed from me, because I was gone for 8 months of that last 11 he was alive. And when I was there I still wasn't. I didn't call or write as much as I could have and the stress he was under would have made a weaker man buckle completely and a lot sooner. So my point is be there for your husband I could always talk to my husband about anything and we both always considered each other to be our diaries. Sometimes you have things that your spouse does and you want to vent to a friend, but unless you talk to your spouse your issues will never get resolved and he will never know how you feel. I can't say I never thought of other people, but that is always where it stayed (and yes even that made me feel guilty,) But I never wanted to not be able to look my husband in the eyes and as his best friend I at least owed that to him. We always knew each other passwords and he always had an invite from me to log on to my e-mail account anytime he wanted, because I had nothing to hide and wanted no secrets in our marriage. I wanted to have him completely and I wanted him to have me the same. Marriage can be challenging, but I would relive my worst day with my husband than my best day now with out him. Treasure what you have I thought I had more time and didn't make the most of every day like I could have. No one ever knows when your last moments are. If you think your spouse would disapprove than you probably shouldn't do it.

Liefie wrote at 2009-02-24 07:09:12
Hi, well, finally I hear someone say the same thing as me.  I also just want someone to talk to.  If I go to friendship sites, everyone wants to date.  I am happily married, but have no friends.  My only friend is miles away and the communication is a bit lost.  Why is it so hard to find other married woman who I can chit-chat to..  You know, about kids, relationships and everything!

valerie wrote at 2009-06-12 19:46:17
Kathy, I agree with you.  It nice to talk with people who are married.  I think people are over reacting.  You can talk to me anytime.

nats wrote at 2011-03-31 17:42:48
I know it's been 2 years ago but did either Liefie or Kathy get nice websites?  You took the words out of my mouth!!!  Maybe we should speak to each other???  Liefie neem aan jy is in Suid-Afrika - ek ook

D.F. wrote at 2011-05-03 02:56:48
wow! and you say your new to chat? OMG.  

married people CAN chat, there is nothing wrong with it, it is what you make it. I totaly understand Kathy, I would like to find a nice chat room also, with no perverts, good luck!

clark516 wrote at 2011-07-24 01:05:28
I am a married man whose wife cheated with an ex-boyfriend from high school. They spent a lot of time on facebook I.M. and text messaging. The conversations went from remembering old times to becoming sensual. I should have know something was going on because she would angle her laptop to keep me from seeing what she was doing online. I never wanted to get back at her for cheating. I just hate that she had the opportunity to compare what she had at home to what's out there in the world. The trust is gone and I am sick to my stomach everytime she goes out of town. I know I've gotten off-topic. But to conclude on the original point; online chatting (especially to the same person) can lead to infidelity.  

aka maggie wrote at 2012-12-20 14:12:54
Wow lecture much? There is no harm in going to a chat to CHAT. That is why they are called CHAT ROOMS. I am happily married and so is my husband,btw. He has no problem with me chatting since it is no different than facebook really. You sound like a hypocrite. Did your spouse leave you for someone they met online perhaps? Maybe it was that holier than thou attitude you put out. Be kind, she just wants to make friends to talk to.  

ernie wrote at 2014-01-01 21:26:22
Hi, I am open for chat, maybe I can give you the answers you need and maybe I'll find what I need. I was just on the computer thinking about my wife that passed away in Nov. I think I would just like to talk to someone. I was married for 30 years. and feel lost. My email is

mrguy wrote at 2014-08-05 23:11:29
i am a husband who wants the same exact thing. couldnt have said it any better myself

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Vena McGrath


As the author of a novel about my life online in chat rooms specifically, and a few adventures into online dating, I can answer almost any question anyone could ask about chatting online. The excitement, the adrenalin rush, the manipulation of the mind, the corruption of morals, the danger of stalking and harrassment online and offline, the lies, the secrets. The reality of this `fantasy` is frightening. My book tells a story that hopefully will make anyone who reads it more wary and chatwise than I was when I stumbled upon chat in late 1999 as a naive woman who didn`t have a clue what a chat room on the internet was. I have spent many hours online counselling men and women with broken hearts, wounded pride, and yes, very real fear. My passion is to try to help eradicate the not so good factors out of chat rooms and make them once again fun places where people feel safe.


My experience commenced in June 1999 in international chat rooms and then a move in late September 1999 to chat rooms in Australia. I am still online, have my own chat room, and my first novel titled 'Secrets, Lies & Chat' was published by American-Book Publishing in 2005 and is now available from my website for a very competitive price. I have also released on my website an eBook which is a revised version of Secrets, Lies & Chat and only costs $4.95 5o download in either word or pdf format.

I belong to many writing organisations online and I belong to the chat room community of BigPond.

Communique - a monthly newspaper produced by the NSW Government Department of Commerce
SMH ICON liftout 'The Net Effect' April 2004
Numerous articles in PoynterOnline
Numerous letters to the editor, SMH
My profile and short stories and articles are all online at and some are posted on my website.

High School Educated
TAFE Secretarial
Numerous OH&S certificates
Numerous Computer related courses

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