About Melissa Burton (a.k.a Bee) Expertise I can help with people who are having problems in their internet relationship/long distance relationship. This includes arguments, being patient, understanding what they are trying to tell you, going from friends to even more,precautions, and even breaking up.
Experience Know plenty of people who have loved/liked someone from online and have met.
Question I appreciate you taking the time to read this. I met a guy thru online gaming. he is 10 years older than me. we have seen some pics of each other (naughty and nice).he lives a couple thousand miles away. we have been chatting for almost 2 years. things couldbe hot and heavy. i was in a long term relationship that i wasnt happy in, and was waiting to leave.(the house, dog, work, etc.)i am 25. no kids. he kinda knew this, as we have mutual online friends hewo knew, and my myspace said i wasw in a relationship. we never talked about it tho, i didnt want to whine about my bf to him. our chatting was always lighthearted, not to deep, but he was always really caring and said really nice things to me (i wanna hold u in my arms, make love all night long, i care about u, i wish u were here, ur so beautiful). i knwo a part of me was in it b/c i wasnt getting it from my bf, but its been a long time now, and i do have feelings for him. we hav ementioned meeting, and iwas always non commital. this is all so new to me and i was not expecting this to happen. i have broken up with my bf. a few months ago he brought up meeting (no pressure) and i was a little more keen but still nothing concrete. he said to let him know when im ready. well im ready, and i let him know. now he says 'what we have here is fun' dont know about meeting. i think he has lost patience, maybe even got a gf... dont think so judging by his log in times... but, he simply will not explain. he had stopped showing up online, less and less, and now hardly ever. we onl communicate thru e mail now, and we used to chat live every day. i feel like his absense is due to me, and i asked him, buthe said it wasnt. i am afraid that my presense is keeping him away form his other contacts, as he never loggs in anymore, asuming that he is avoiding me. i a m not looking for a relationship. im very laid back and would like to be physical with him. i wish he would communicate with me, ask me mroe questions, so he knew where i stand. i guess he just doesnt care anymore. well i still think about him all the time, i told him a while ago, and he didnt respond. he used to say he thought about me all the time, couldnt get me of his mind. our conversations have been really sexual at times, and we both kinda went out on a limb with each other, sharing fantasies and being really open. i cant beleive this is bothering me so much...i know what i should do-move on and forget. but would like to hear it from someone as open minded about this studff as you, in case thats just the cynical old me thinkin. :) p.s. sorry about the typing.
Answer Hello
Well I don't exactly know what happened but I have a few pretty good guesses. The first thing idea that I had about his behavior was that this seemed very typical of a guy who is afraid to do this in person. I think he might have been curious but again, you said it never went anywhere. It he was serious, he probably would have pushed to try and make it happen. It sounds like he was never actually serious about having that with you. Again, this is typical of many internet based friendships/relationships. Things are easier to do online, like exchange sexy pictures, talk about how you want to do stuff, but then in reality it's hard to do things like that. Insecurities pop up like what if she doesn't like me, what if I'm not that good, what if we aren't attracted to each other. This is serious too, because if that ever happened, you guys being sexual to each other would never happen and things would get pretty awkward. So it's like he said, what you guys have here, online is fun, but actually meeting and making it in a reality might not be. He's apparently afraid to try and although he brought it up before, he probably didn't put much thought or care into it. So I think that might be a reason cause it really could be awkward if he meets you, since you both know about those things and there is added pressure on him to do all these sexual things that you voiced to him.
Another thing is that he is interested or has met someone else. You said yourself, that you guys are not looking for a relationship. He may have met a woman who he's interested in and prefers her because there is an emotional component as well. If he doesn't go online anymore then that most likely is the reason. He's clearly preoccupied by someone and another woman would be the most logical reason.
i agree you need to move on. he's really not someone special in terms of emotions. You don't love him, you don't want a relationship with him, all you seem to crave is the whole fantasy you guys shared together. If that's what you want, then you can get that anywhere. Either way don't try talking to him. it's clear he doesn't care anymore and you are only degrading yourself by trying to repeatedly contact him. I think you need to just let him go. I know you care and you will continue thinking about him for awhile, but you need to move on. It sounds like it's over to him, and it's time for you to start getting over this as well.
Melissa
