Aboutvanessaoz Expertise I love helping people and and some may say that I am a very chatting and friendly person. I can offer advice to people who are in long distance or a different cultural online relationship as I have experienced both. I know how hard it can be and how heartbreaking it can be but I also know how rewarding they can be.
i live in australia so depending where you live my time frame for answering may differ but i will try to answer within 24 hours of receiving your question.
Experience I have experience with online relationships and having friends who are in one or have had them, I know the highs and lows that can come from being in one, especially long distance. I have been online for five years and met many people from different cultures.
Question QUESTION: Hi Mam :-) !!
My ques is:
How can you know if a online friend of yours has feelings for you?
I mean If u only chat OL/ talk on fone wid someone, is there any way to know what the person really feels about you? ( Like in real life, u can always know by a person's body language, but in case of OL friendship are there any signs ?)
Thank You !!
ANSWER: hi N,
thanks for your email...
i think one of the main signs online that someone likes you is in their interest to talk to you or write to you. if its days after you email and they dont respond then that would be a clue that they are not that interested in you.
i beleive if someone is interested in you then they will make as much contact as they can to be with you. no contact means that they are not thinking of you, so not interested.
when your talking on the phone you can tell by the questions being asked and how much you have in common, if they like you or not. if the conversation is short and not going anywhere, again another sign that they are not interested in you..
hope this helps you a little...
take care
vanessaoz
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Hmm... Thanks for the answer !!
Actually there is this guy who was a classmate long ago in 7th grade ( that was 12 yrs ago, now we r 24 yrs old). We met again in a networking site 2.5 years ago & continued our friendship thru chatting/fone calls. I was amazed that this guy remembered every small detail about me while he had forgotten many other general things. Anyway I was not much surprised coz we had been good frnds back then.
So now comming back 2 the present, he is in the army, so gets posted at remote locations & many times his cell is unreachable & he sometimes goes for weeks without Net. but since we r very close frnds, even weeks of no communication never hindered our friendship coz we connect so well & have great confort level.
Anyway, of late over the past 5-6 months, I have noticed something:
1. He calls 3-4 times a month ( given that previously it was abt 2-3 calls a year, & i was the one making most of the calls back then ) Actually he does look for excuses 2 call me, but still does nt call very frequently.
2. I m the only girl he talks 2 ( He is a typical guy's guy with a high level of intolerance for females)
3. He actually tolerates me & actually remembers evrything I say ( Given that I m a very irritating chatterbox, & much of wat i talk is simply meaningless)
4. This guy never used to call me for as long as I was in touch wid my ex, even tho i used 2 call him sometimes.Wen my ex had dumped me, this guy was the most concerned. And he began to call me only after weeks passed after my break up. ( He was once dumped wen he was 19 & has been single since then)
5. He is very good looking & girls r always after him, but If i ever tease him about girls, he says "u r the only girl i can talk 2, i just cant like a girl unless i know her like i know u"
6. He never flirts with me, & the comfort level between us has of late grown so much. I mean, he just makes me feel so comfortable that inspite of being a very private person i m able to talk about anything wid him.
I don't know, But of late I have this feeling that this guy likes me, but does not want me to know. I mean we have nt met as yet coz his busy schedule does nt allow him time to visit my city, so there is no way I can know through body language.
(We r both 24 yrs old, straight & from India)
Since U r an expert on OL relations, please put some light on this.
Thanks 4 sparing ur time !!
Answer hi again N,
Its good to know that you both are mature adults. it seems he is showing more interest in you but your right, until you actually meet in person, its hard to know if you both will be compatable with one another.
I have many indian friends who have told me a lot about your culture, though maybe things are changing over the years as far as marriage and families are concerned.
this mans family might have someone lined up for him as you both are at an age where you may be thinking of settling down and starting a family.
all you can do right now is be honest with him, tell him how you feel and hope he opens up to you with his feelings. again, you both need to meet in person before making any life changing decisions.
