About Janelle Marks Expertise I can answer most questions about Online Romance/Dating. How to keep an Online Relationship without complications. How to keep it heathly. What to do? How to go about telling others?
Experience Currently have two online relationship books in publication, due out Dec 17, 2006
Publications www.lulu.com, whispy.com
Education/Credentials Research for Online romance for 8 years.
Question Hi, my name is Ashley. I moved to a new city to attend graduate school about 7 months ago. I haven't had much luck with men in the past so I decided to give online dating a try. I'm new to this whole thing so I'm not sure how to handle online situations. First, there was this guy name David who was 25 yrs old. We had a lot in common in terms of tv shows and movies we watch and we are both big history geeks. Every few days we're exchanging emails. I posted in my ad that I wanted to take the time to get to know each other before exchanging photos (I posted on Craigslist FYI). We finally exchanged photos. We emailed back and forth for a while and then suddenly the emails stopped on his end. He had gone out of town for a few days and didn't have Internet access, then he had to go visit a friend out-of-state. But, every now and then, he'd send me an email to make sure I, in his words, "remember him." Then nothing. Several days passed and I didn't know what was going on. So I sent him a quick email asking him how he was doing. He responded saying how everything was fine and that he was visiting a friend and they were having fun. This email was different was really short and different. Before he would ask question about my day or school etc, but he didn't do that. So, I stopped writing him because I thought he lost interest. Was that the right move in that situation? Should I have asked him about it flat out? Since this brief exchange he hasn't written me. Since this encounter, I started emailing this new guy Jason whos 25. The first time I responded to his email it took him 5 days to respond back. But, after that, we started emailing quite a bit. Our emails were fun and pleasant. He has even commented on how much he looked forward to reading my emails. I sent him an email and its been 6 days and I still haven't heard from him. How do I handle this situation? When it comes to online dating vs. real life dating, the whole thing feels different. Some of the guys I've emailed will suddenly stop emailing. At first, I tell myself they're busy but then days turn into weeks and I come to the conclusion they aren't interested any more. And, I move on. How do I handle the situation with guys where there seems to be a genuine interest on both sides but then nothing? Help! Any advice you can give would be great.
Answer Hello Ashley,
Thank you for contacting me. Online dating can be very enjoyable, but then again, it can be very hurtful. I need to give you an explanation of online dating: Online dating or Internet dating is a dating system which allows individuals, couples and groups to make contact and communicate with each other over the Internet, usually with the objective of developing a personal romantic or sexual relationship(Wikipedia). There is a huge difference between online dating and real life dating. Many people use online dating as a way to find other people that they wouldn't normally talk to on a everyday basis. You can say anything or do almost anything to a person without their/your actual being revealed. When a person says.. remember me at the end of a email, letter , card, etc. it usually means, that they are moving on or expect you to. Most likely the reason for the emails is that he in not interested. Although you may not like the results, sometimes its for the best. People are almost never the way they are in person that they are online. Try looking for someone that is looking for something that you are looking for. Try not to get emotionally attached. I know its almost impossible, but that's the best thing to do.
Hopefully you will find the one you are looking for, just remember an online dating site can only tell you what the person wants you to know.
There are no guarantees in online dating.
