Aboutvanessaoz Expertise I love helping people and and some may say that I am a very chatting and friendly person. I can offer advice to people who are in long distance or a different cultural online relationship as I have experienced both. I know how hard it can be and how heartbreaking it can be but I also know how rewarding they can be.
i live in australia so depending where you live my time frame for answering may differ but i will try to answer within 24 hours of receiving your question.
Experience I have experience with online relationships and having friends who are in one or have had them, I know the highs and lows that can come from being in one, especially long distance. I have been online for five years and met many people from different cultures.
Question QUESTION: I have a boyfriend who lives 2 hrs away from me. I know it may not seem that far but because our relationship is a secret from our parents, I cant just meet him anytime I want. I have met him a couple of times at a party at my friends house and thats how we met. Ive known him for almost 3 yrs but just as fiends. He asked for my cell phone but i didnt have one so i gave him my msn. Just 2 weeks ago, he asked me out on msn and weve chatted on msn for a week now. Its difficult because online chatting, hes very different. He seems more open, and can be alil bit of a jerk sometimes but in person, hes a total sweetheart. I dont know why he act like this. When i tell him its mean, he gets alittle angry. But we make up some mins later. Now he is grounded for 1 month for some reason. I want to email him but I would feel like im buggin him. I also want him to email me first but I dont think thats going to happen. I dont know if our online relationship would work? what do you think? my friend keep tellin me to not give up because its just been 2 weeks since weve dated. help me.
thank you
and also i wanna know what kind of things people talk abt online when were going out. like i sometimes feel we dont have much to talk abt but in person, we have tons to talk about. He is more open about "other" things online and im more conservative online, for some weird reason. lol.. so please help me!
ANSWER: hi anonymous,
thanks for your questions..
its amazing how many people are not themselves online. they feel because they are hiding behind a computer screen they can be a different person then the one they are in real life. i hear this a lot from people. most people feel less intimdated on the net then talking to someone face to face.
its harder for you because your hiding this relationship from your parents, im not sure of the reason why but if i was you, i feel you should talk to them about it and maybe they could help you see him a little more often.
you cant build on a relationship if your feeling guilty and cant tell your parents. only you know the reasons why you cant tell them and maybe they are the reasons that your friends are telling you to give up on him.
try talking about what you like and ask him the same. there are so many topics, movies, songs, tv shows, sports, food, drink, places you would like to visit, places you would like to live, jobs you both migh like to name a few.
good luck, hope this helps a little.
vanessaoz
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QUESTION: well i am Muslim and having a boyfriend is just wrong at my age or i guess any age. well this is according to them. But they would flip out if I tell them i have a boyfriend. I wish i could tell them but they wont understand. Trust me. they wont. My boyfriend also has to keep it a secret from his mom because she also has a thing about muslim teens dating. I dont feel guilty that i my parents dont know about this. Its just having a relationship online is kind of different for me. Honestly, this is my first relationship and i dont know what to do. ive never experienced having a guy with me so i cant compare that to an online relationship. I would get to meet my boyfriend probably during the summer but thats two months away from today. I just want to be with him and have him here. I see all these couples in my school and it makes me jealous and i miss him even more. I don't know how it would be like for him to be here rather than two hours away.
Answer hi again,
i do understand the issues you have with your religion and telling your parents, it would be very hard to make them understand.
it has to be hard for you to see your friends with their boyfriends and you are alone with your boyfriend so far away.
online relationships are harder to deal with then having your boyfriend close by where you can see him and be with him physically. i dont mean just kissing and hugging but just holding hands or going to the movies when you want too. online all you have is the emotional side of things, there is no doubt that you can feel love and happiness online, but there will be times that you want more from him, like just a cuddle and thats impossible.
so, if your the kind of person that needs that physical touch of having your boyfriend close by, then online relationships wont work for you. if yor prepared to wait and get to know this guy more and let the emotional side of your relationship develop until you can meet then i would say stick with your friend online.
i hope that one day you can discuss this with your parents and that you can meet this guy with your parents approval.
