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About vanessaoz
Expertise
I love helping people and and some may say that I am a very chatting and friendly person. I can offer advice to people who are in long distance or a different cultural online relationship as I have experienced both. I know how hard it can be and how heartbreaking it can be but I also know how rewarding they can be. i live in australia so depending where you live my time frame for answering may differ but i will try to answer within 24 hours of receiving your question.

Experience
I have experience with online relationships and having friends who are in one or have had them, I know the highs and lows that can come from being in one, especially long distance. I have been online for five years and met many people from different cultures.

Education/Credentials
catholice education

 
   

You are here:  Experts > Internet/Online > Net Culture > How to Have an Online Relationship > Online relationship

How to Have an Online Relationship - Online relationship


Expert: vanessaoz - 5/17/2009

Question
QUESTION: Hi I try this site becuase I'm having a problem now with my online boyfriend which I did not yet meet in person. We been know each other for 4 months and then after that he get in love with me which first I did not believe him. Im a Filipina and my boyfriend is from london a scottish. We chat everynight, he call to me and send text msg then for a week I also fell in love with him. Now we're on our 2nd monthsary and his planning to marry me when he see me here in philippines. On july he will arrive here. We're very okay to each other, he is sweet, caring and loving. We chat when his on the office then after he get home we chat again.

But just now when I call his friend number which he gave me before, I call him then when I hear his voice its very same as his voice. Now I confused if he give me the true number of his frend or just his another cell number. And other one is I asked him to give her mother's number so I can talked to her and say thank you bcoz she allow my boyfriend to marry me. Then when Im trying to call her mom its only ringging, and I call it another day now its already off. He said that her mom's cellphone was lost.

Im asking now his booking number so I can prove that he really coming here in July. But now he only give the flight number not the ticket number.

Please help me, Im getting confused now I love him so much and all my family knows that we're getting married this July.

Please help me.
Thanks.

ANSWER: hi janella,

thanks for your email...

im not surprised that his friends voice sounds the same as your boyfriends voice. in london, they are very similar, particlary if they have a scottish accent. it would be hard to tell them apart. i wouldnt concern myself about that phone number being his number. im sure its his friend that you are talking too.

in saying that, if you have doubts about his honesty then i wouldnt be thinking of getting married. you have to be 100% happy with the commitment you are both going to make to each other and  if your having doubts about him now, that isnt a good sign.

you need that booking number because anyone can give you a flight number.

you need to talk to him about your concerns. if he cant answer your questions or hesitates with answers that dont make sense to you, then i would reconsider getting married this july. you need to have no doubts about what you doing.

when your inlove with someone, there are no doubts, you know if this is the person that you want to share the rest of your life with. i feel you may need a little longer before committing to marriage. get to know him a little better. you will regret it if you jump into a marriage when you have reservations about your future husband.

good luck
vanessaoz

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks for replying my message so fast. Really on London sometimes they have same voice tone? Now I feel upset about that and Im feel sorry for doubting him regarding that issue.

About the ticket number he said he will give me his ticket number now, later on we will chat now after he finish doing house cleaning because he lives by his own house. I trust him fully because every promise he said he fullfill it. He spend his time on his work and to me only. He is a manager in a Mark & Spencer store in London, there's a lot of changes of him, before his not too sweet with me and we only chat after he got home. Now we chat even his at work when he had a free time then after that I wait him to got home. Its 7 hours different in our time thats why I almost sacrificed my sleeping habit just because of him.

I know getting married in July is so fast and at that time its our personal meeting also. But I believe him he really loves me, he already talked to my mother, they chat sometimes too.

Its been 2 years I have no boyfriend because I always hurt in the end, then I did not realizes that I will fall in love again through online. In this case I just follow my heart and I pray this relationship also to be work out. I trust God in this.

Maybe I start being paranoid because my other online friends telling always negative in our relationship. I love him so much. I'm getting nervous because our wedding plan is getting near now.

I hope this night he will give the ticket number so I will not doubting to him. Do you think he really loves me?

Answer
hi again janella,

i will answer your question first. do you think he loves me?? your the only one that can tell if he does, im afraid if you have to ask me that, then maybe you do have doubts that you need answered by him.

ive personally been involved in long distance relationships and i know many others that are in them now or have been in them. this is where i draw my experience from to be able to help you.

ive had guys say they love me then we meet and it just hasnt worked out. its so different when you actually meet, thats why im asking that you dont make marriage arrangments until you meet, you could be disappointed. even now, i have two friends who have only known each other for 3 months and have met are planning a marriage in a few months. i still feel its too quick but they are in their 50's and seem to have no doubts about how they feel towards each other. im still concerned but only time will tell.

until you actually meet and feel those feelings together is when i would start making plans. you dont have to rush into things, if the two of you are meant to be together, it will happen. love always finds a way to bring two people together.

i dont want to sound pessimistic, its just that ive been through it and know others that have been heart broken once they actually meet. i hope this doesnt happen to you, im just asking that you wait and meet then make the plans once your sure his is the man for you, you may feel he is now but like i said, things can change when you meet.

good luck with whatever decision you make and let me know how things go.

vanessaoz

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