Aboutvanessaoz Expertise I love helping people and and some may say that I am a very chatting and friendly person. I can offer advice to people who are in long distance or a different cultural online relationship as I have experienced both. I know how hard it can be and how heartbreaking it can be but I also know how rewarding they can be.
i live in australia so depending where you live my time frame for answering may differ but i will try to answer within 24 hours of receiving your question.
Experience I have experience with online relationships and having friends who are in one or have had them, I know the highs and lows that can come from being in one, especially long distance. I have been online for five years and met many people from different cultures.
Question QUESTION: Hi vanessaoz its me again Janella I hope you remember me. I have problem again with my boyfriend. As you know he had a booking going here in philippines and last day I asked him the ticket number so I can check it through online. Then when he look the paper he only had the reciept of the ticket. I ask him if they give also the e-ticket he said there's no e-ticket he recieve. So I told him to call the ticketing officer about his e-ticket number. Until now his not calling or send msg about the news of his ticket. Now Im getting worried that maybe he really not going here to see me and marry me. I scared now, I dont know what to do if he does not show up in July.
ANSWER: hi janella,
yes i remember you...
i was worried about this kind of thing happening to you. i cant offer you any guarentees that he will come, i wish i could. what he is doing to you happens a lot with online relationships. i was hoping this wasnt the case with you.
if he has truly booked his flight then he must have booking ticket number for the day he is arriving. will he be staying with you or will you be moving back with him once your married??? will he be working in the phillipines or how will he be supporting himself and you.???
when was he due to arrive to be with you??? sorry for all the questions but im just trying to give you the best advice i can. i dont want you to lose hope but just understand the reality that he may not come to marry you, if he isnt being honest with everything.
if he doesnt show up in july, then you will just have to move on with your life and learn from the experience like ive said before. it wont be easy and i know you will be hurt and upset, but life does go one. it will be hard for you to trust someone else but there will be someone else for you, if this guy isnt the one.
let me know what happens,
good luck
vanessaoz
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QUESTION: he said his arrival here is JUly 6 and he was staying here for 3 weeks and the flight number is BA 470 arrival time 11 am philippines time. He said when we get married and went back to london he will process our paper so I can be with him in his next visit here.
I dont know if I can handle this if he did not show up in July, I dont have face to front with my family and friends. They all know that myboyfriend is coming here and we will get married. I almost crying for 2 days now. I'm trying to call him today but his not answering my call even my text msg. I dont know what to do now.
ANSWER: hi janella,
sorry i didnt reply earlier but i got your email as i was heading to bed.
there isnt a lot you can do until you hear from him. this will be hard for you if he doesnt come to marry you, but im sure your family would be happy that it happened now and not when you were married. im sure they will be all understanding and i feel your being hard on yourself. i know your probably feeling like a fool to your family and friends if he doesnt marry you but try not to worry, they love you and will understand.
when you love someone so much that you want to marry them,you dont leave them crying for 2 days by not answering calls and messages. think about that and ask yourself, does he really love me??? how will he treat me when we are married??? if you accept him as he is now, treating you this way, then he will know its ok and treat you that way when your married. its not acceptable to leave you so upset, i would be asking myself those questions. dont marry him because you feel you have to for your family and friends, marry him because you love him and he loves you. if you have reservations, dont marry him. you will be in for future heartbreak.
good luck again
vanessaoz
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QUESTION: hello Vanessaoz its me again Janella. You know im really bothered now with my BF. Because I discover that his mobile number his using is in Pakistan areacode which is +923. I don't know what to do now I already finish my papers for our marriage and now when I ask him about his papers he keep saying his busy.
Answer hi janella,
are you sure its a pakistan code because i know my mobile number is nothing like my home number.
by now he should be in constant contact with you if he plans to come and marry you in july. you really need to know the truth of whether he is definitely coming or not.
if i was you and i know this will be hard to do because you may have to fact the facts that he isnt coming but you do need to find out now before you go ahead with any further wedding arrangements that will cause you more pain if he doesnt arrive.
he owes it to you to be honest about your relationship. when did you talk to him last and have you noticed a difference in his attitude towards you and your future???
do you have a date set in july for the marriage??? if you are still having doubts now, i would cancel the wedding for the moment until he can commit to you with all his arrangements. you will save yourself money and save face with your family and friends.
i know what im saying is not easy to do, but with a month to go, he should be helping you with arrangments and be more commited to this major event in his life then he seems to be.
you have to become stronger and not let him walk over the top of you. if you accept his attitude now, then this is how he will treat you in the future. you deserve better then that.
