Aboutvanessaoz Expertise I love helping people and and some may say that I am a very chatting and friendly person. I can offer advice to people who are in long distance or a different cultural online relationship as I have experienced both. I know how hard it can be and how heartbreaking it can be but I also know how rewarding they can be.
i live in australia so depending where you live my time frame for answering may differ but i will try to answer within 24 hours of receiving your question.
Experience I have experience with online relationships and having friends who are in one or have had them, I know the highs and lows that can come from being in one, especially long distance. I have been online for five years and met many people from different cultures.
Question *New Follow-up limit*
Giving a bit of update...
Since the last time I talked to you, she had make out with another guy, and with this guy(like the last) it seems to me that it has all that it takes for them to move to a more serious relationship(boyfriend/girlfriend). And for all that she is making me feel I decided to be cold and rude with her...
Thing is, I had a good friendship with her(and maybe she had with me) to the point that I never had with any of my other "friends" (I do have confidence problems), so I didn't wanted to lose this friendship in the process so I kept an window open to her, whenever she needed to talk to me about something. She then began saying that that wasn't needed, that I could do it in other way, and in the end I really didn't wanted to do it, I like her a lot, and couldn't think of backing away from her…
But something happened and I got a little more strength to take her out of my mind, so I'm trying my best to avoid her, but I'm still afraid of losing her friendship but ,in the same time, know that if I continue being her close friend I will get hurt even more..
To you have and idea, because the long time that this crush is taking, I even began to think that I may love her, and if you remember well I said myself that don't like to say that I love someone (or that someone loves me).
But I’m shy, not that pretty, and a nerd. So takes time for me to find another crush (that will eventually hurt me as well), but yesterday I got to a friend’s party and saw I girl that called my attention, since I’m a loser for these things, this hardly will go to somewhere (especially because for talking a little bit more with her I would need to give some hints that I may like her to this friend of mine, something that I don’t want to do… especially for all the rejection possibility). But I still think on the other girl and every time I think about her I remember how she was good to me…and how that I shouldn’t treat her bad because I can’t forget about her…
What do you think I should do? Force her out even if that ruins my friendship with her? Try to forget her with time? What do I do?
Ps: She suggested that I let it happen and eventually I would stop liking her, but wouldn’t had our friendship affected (or even ruined)
Ps2: Sorry for the long post, I will stop here, couldn't even write this post in a way to make it understandable :P
Answer hi victor,
nice to hear from you again,
i know that this is very hard for you at the moment. you have a deep friendship with this girl and dont want to lose it. the problem i see is that ist very one sided. she has moved on but you havn't.
you do need to try to go out with others and form other friendships to take your mind off this other girl. the quicker you do this the quicker you can move on.
there is nothing wrong in keep the door open for this girl but in the end you could still be left hurt and you dont want that.
you cant force her to like/love you, you will just drive her away further. i really would just try to forget her and who knows in the end she might just come back to you but that doesnt happen often.
what im saying, if you two are meant to be together, then it will happen but in time. again, this may not happen at all.
go out and live your life for yourself and enjoy the company of other people, you cant have enough friends.
