Expert: vanessaoz - 6/24/2009

Question
Hi, my name is Alex :]
Last June/July, I started talking to this guy, Sam. We talked about our own relationships and advice we could give each other and stopped talking for a few months. Well, the day my exboyfriend broke up with me, I went online and, thank goodness, Sam was online as well. I told him the whole story and he was there to comfort me. He broke up with his girlfriend a few weeks later. Since then (October '08), we have talked every day and wowwiee we are so in love :] We are both 17 and have both had long term relationships in the past. We know we are so young, but I have this gut feeling that he is the one for me :] He really cares about me and acts like a real boyfriend. Asks how I'm feeling when I'm sick, wishes me luck for tests at school, helps me when I have a fight with my parents/friends, etc.
A few weeks ago, we finally met face to face :] He lives in England while I live in Arizona. It was an incredible first experience. It felt so real and it did not feel awkward at all (besides the first 10 minutes or so because we were so in shock). We kissed and held hands and walked around town, acted like a real couple :] Then it was time for me to go and it was really sad :[
After I got home, we started talking about what our future holds and we have a plan: he will move out over here to start college here in the fall and he will live with me and my parents for a few months (if they say yes) until he finds a place to stay. My family and his family met when I saw him.
My question is: are we going down the right path? We know we want to be together for a veryyyyy long time. We talk about getting married (jokingly) and having kids and all that stuff. My gut feeling is that this will work and if you truly love a person you will do whatever it takes to be with them, right? I really love him, and it took me a while to get there, considering what my ex put me through.
Please write back and let me know what you think!
Thank you!
-Alex-

Answer
hi alex,

thanks for your email,

its lovely that both got to meet face to face, that is only way i feel you can get to truly know each other.

yes, you are both quite young but doesnt stop you having feelings for each other or thinking of a future together. you just have to make sure that what you feel doesnt get in the way of everyday life with school and family. you need a balance of everything to make things work for you.

the key to any good relationship is trust and good communication. if you dont lose those two things then you stand a good chance of making it as a couple in the future.

your lucky that both families have met and like each other. that is a good first step. you will certainly get to know him better if he comes to stay with you and i think will be a good test for your relationship. remember though, you both need some space and at times you will need it. make sure you allow him to have his space and do things on his own with his friends. thats where the trust comes in.

good luck, hope it all works out well for you both
vanessaoz