Aboutvanessaoz Expertise I love helping people and and some may say that I am a very chatting and friendly person. I can offer advice to people who are in long distance or a different cultural online relationship as I have experienced both. I know how hard it can be and how heartbreaking it can be but I also know how rewarding they can be.
i live in australia so depending where you live my time frame for answering may differ but i will try to answer within 24 hours of receiving your question.
Experience I have experience with online relationships and having friends who are in one or have had them, I know the highs and lows that can come from being in one, especially long distance. I have been online for five years and met many people from different cultures.
Question Hey, I'm an 18 year old girl turning 19 this year and I've been in an online relationship with a guy from Australia for the past 8 months. We actually met on an online game and we pretty much clicked instantly as there was some sort of chemistry between us. It wasn't long before we entered into an official relationship and it's been really blissful ever since then. We talk on the phone and we've webcammed before. Perhaps the major problem is the fact that we've broken up before and gotten back together a few times. I really love him and I really really want to meet him but there are just a few things holding me back.
Firstly, I trust him but there are times when I'm not so sure about it. He's a really sociable guy and he's currently in University.. Same age as me but the thing is he says he doesn't like to hang out with people that much and prefers to stay at home in which most of the time when I call he's either sleeping or tired. I feel like I'm the one giving more to this relationship because it seems like he's not very interested in communicating with me at times 'cos he's busy with school work or something. I tell him about my friends and even introduced him to some of them but I hardly know anything about his life and have only made contact with one of his friends. I could go on about the problems between us but I think i'll stop here 'cos I'm quite sure that he does indeed love me if not its difficult for our relationship to last 8 months.
The major problem is my parents don't approve of this relationship and they are barring me from meeting him. When I broke up with him before I went out with other guys but I can't seem to find anyone that's like him. Furthermore my parents are really protective and they think that he's a dangerous guy even though he's not and he even wanted to introduce himself to my parents. Another thing is I'm going to University in a few weeks in America and I know I'll be meeting different guys and I'm scared of our relationship. As much as I love him i get easily swayed sometimes.. I know that i've said i haven't found guys that cld replace him but I'm going to a different country and University is huge, you meet so many different peeps.
I really want to stick to this relationship but even meeting him in Melbourne is going to prove to be really difficult 'cos i'm going to be even further away from him when I go to the states and with the fact that he's busy and communication seems to be minimal sometimes if I don't put in the effort I don't really know what to do anymore. I do love him though and I don't want to hurt him or breakup. Furthermore i've been with him for so long i'm really dying to meet him. I have friends that are half supportive of this r/s and others who aren't. Both sides reasons are relatively valid.
Please give me some advice on this I know its really complicated. If needed I'll send a follow up e-mail.
Thanks
Answer hi cassandra,
thanks for your email,
i can understand your parents concern because you really dont know someone until you actually meet and you have only know him 8 months, that isnt a long time. you seem to have some doubts about him and i wonder if you have communicated this to him.
im sure you will find going to an american university will open up new adventures as well as making knew friends. this could lead you to finding someone special to share your experiences with, so just be prepared for this.
im not sure about the time difference you have now with your aussie friend but it will be a significant difference once your in the USA. this could make things harder for you both to keep up a long distance relationship.
the advice i would give you is to talk to your aussie guy, tell him how you feel and your concerns, you need good communication in any relationship and you shouldnt be scared to say how you feel. hiding things wont help you grow and will only make things worse. if you are concerened about the time he is giving you then you need to let him know.
