Aboutvanessaoz Expertise I love helping people and and some may say that I am a very chatting and friendly person. I can offer advice to people who are in long distance or a different cultural online relationship as I have experienced both. I know how hard it can be and how heartbreaking it can be but I also know how rewarding they can be.
i live in australia so depending where you live my time frame for answering may differ but i will try to answer within 24 hours of receiving your question.
Experience I have experience with online relationships and having friends who are in one or have had them, I know the highs and lows that can come from being in one, especially long distance. I have been online for five years and met many people from different cultures.
Question Hello and thank you for taking time to read this. I'm 17 about to be turning 18 in two months and the girl I met online is 18. We met in a multiplayer video game and struck up a conversation that eventually leaded to direct IM and then a voice communication/phone quite quickly. After the first couple of days hanging out with each other in the game and talking everyday she told me. It accidentally blurted out and she said she loved me. I asked her if she was being serious and she said yes. SO i said I loved her back too and I meant it.
So very strong feelings and things were said during the first week of meeting each other. You would think saying you love someone would take a couple months but with this girl its different. I really do love her so soon and she always tells me how much she loves me. There is a couple problems I have with her and I'm wondering if I'm the only one being weird about it.
We used to play a multiplayer game together to try to make the distance feel bearable between us. My account got hacked or whatever so I lost my ability to play with her. So now I don't play and she still does. I can tell shes kind of sad about that but since we met in that game I'm just worried about how else she could be doing in it. She joined a new guild and showed everyone her picture which is fine by me. Then she texted me this morning and was like "I got kicked out of my guild". Apparently she wants to really be in a guild and do that but I'm kind of jealous now because I wont know what shes doing in the game anymore. I have to put my trust in her but I am not an easy person to give 100% trust to someone over the internet. She had my trust at one point but shes done a couple things that made me think twice and kind of held back.
So basically we have been together for about a month. In that time basically everything that could happen in 3-6 months in an online relationship did. Phone sex/ talking/ expressing very extreme feelings. She even talked about marriage last night. Since I don't play the game anymore with her I feel like we are drifting apart from each other. She does things with other people in the game and I'm kind of left with nothing. I feel at times the game is way more important than me to her. I feel kind of jealous, hurt, and put on the back burner. If you want anymore information, feel free to email me back. Its a really great story but I don't want it to end badly. I really love this girl but sometimes I'm just unsure of everything.
Answer hi lloyd,
thanks for your email,
you really cant know someone well after one month, as much as you say you communicate with her and discuss so much, it takes years to really know somone. im not saying you cant love someone after a such a short time, but it might be an infatuation you both have with each other at this point.
loving and being in love are two different feelings and you have to trust someone completely when you are in love and you seem to have a few issues with trusting her. she obvisously loves the game you both met in and while i understand your disappointment at not being able to play anymore you cant make her feel bad for enjoying something she loves or ask her stop.
she may have made friends in the game and enjoys talking to them too, it really all comes down to trust and honesty with each other.
i dont think your wierd for having the thoughts that you expressed here. i do understand that you felt closer while playing the game with her and spending time with her but as you are not able to do that now you have do whatever you can to spend time with her in other ways. you can try communicating with her about your concerns and tell her that you miss her but she isnt going to give up her game for you, well not at this point. maybe in time she will, but its going to take time.
you are both still young but the rules are the same for everyone, trust, honesty and good communcation will help in your relationship.
