Aboutvanessaoz Expertise I love helping people and and some may say that I am a very chatting and friendly person. I can offer advice to people who are in long distance or a different cultural online relationship as I have experienced both. I know how hard it can be and how heartbreaking it can be but I also know how rewarding they can be.
i live in australia so depending where you live my time frame for answering may differ but i will try to answer within 24 hours of receiving your question.
Experience I have experience with online relationships and having friends who are in one or have had them, I know the highs and lows that can come from being in one, especially long distance. I have been online for five years and met many people from different cultures.
Question QUESTION: Hi my name is natalie. I am 17 years old and my boyfriend is almost 21. We met online in a chatroom in the fall of 2007 and we've talked been eversince. The first time we talked we both felt a connection and not long after did we fall in love with eachother. Its been almost 2 years now and he's planning on visiting me. He lives in DC and I live in Mass. In a way I'm worried about what it will be like meeting him in person because I don't want to let him down or have the emotions we've been feeling to not be there. I love him so much and cannot see my life without him but I just don't know how to transition from online to real life. We've talked on the phone once but my parents don't know about him so I'm hesitant to talk with him while their home. So I'm just wondering how and when I should tell my parents about him because he means the world to me I just am afraid of how my parents will take it.
ANSWER: hi natalie,
thanks for your email...
its perfectly natural for you to feel the way you do about making that transition from online to real life.
sometimes feelings can change once you both meet, he may not have the same personality that you have grown to love or you both may not be physically attracted to one another. then again, it might you both might just 'click' instantly when you meet. you wont know this until the time comes. its easy to be relaxed online but meeting is something very different.
as long as you are the same person online that you are offline then you shouldnt have to change who you are. just be yourself and things will come naturally.
i would talk to your parents, just tell them that you have a good friend that you met online and you would like them to meet him. be upfront and honest and dont go behind their backs because nothing works out when you go about hiding things from your parents. also, you have to think of your safety, dont go meeting anyone without letting either your parents or a friend know where your going too.
im sure this guy is perfectly safe but you cant take any chances because like i said, some people are very different offline then online.
hope this helps a little,
good luck
vanessaoz
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Sorry to ask another question but I'm not sure how to tell my parents about him. He's coming up to Mass. this weekend and I want to meet him but no one knows about him. I know it may be a safety issue but I'm not sure how my parents or friends will take it. So should I wait to meet him or what...I don't know what to do. He's such an amazing guy and I don't want to make him feel let down if I don't try to make an effort to see him.
Answer hi again natatlie,
i cant emphasize enough how important it is not to meet him without telling your parents or a friend where you are going to go. i know you know him, but you dont really know him until you meet in person. yes its a safety issue.
this is what i tell other people when they meet someone for the first time. always meet in a public place eg. cafe, shopping mall, movies etc. have a back up plan, by that i mean, tell someone you trust to ring you on your cell or you decide to ring them to let them know your ok and where you are and what your going to do. if you get someone to ring you and your time together isnt going great, you can make an excuse up, like you have to get home. if its going well, you can tell your friend that. but please have a back up plan.
my first preference would be to tell your parents, i know your worried that they wont let you meet him but maybe he can come to your home to meet your parents before you go out. explain to your parents that you have made a few good friends online and that this weekend one is coming to meet you and you would like to meet him with your parents approval. tell them you want them to meet them first, by including them into your plans then it might make it easier for both of you.
i know its easier said then done and you run the risk of your parents saying no, but this is the better option and also earn your parents trust. explain about safety issues and any plans you have and hopefully you wont have any problems. only you know how your parents will react, but its going to be worse if you go behind their backs.
good luck and i hope you get to meet your guy this weekend..
take care
vanessaoz
