Aboutvanessaoz Expertise I love helping people and and some may say that I am a very chatting and friendly person. I can offer advice to people who are in long distance or a different cultural online relationship as I have experienced both. I know how hard it can be and how heartbreaking it can be but I also know how rewarding they can be.
i live in australia so depending where you live my time frame for answering may differ but i will try to answer within 24 hours of receiving your question.
Experience I have experience with online relationships and having friends who are in one or have had them, I know the highs and lows that can come from being in one, especially long distance. I have been online for five years and met many people from different cultures.
Question A little overview, about a year ago I met a 47 year old gentlemen in a game I play (I'm 45) and we really hit it off. All year long we have talked daily, on the weekends, it was all weekend. I mean it was wonderful. I could call him anytime, he could call me. We were truly best buddies and I think we both were hoping for something more in the future. We are in different states, about 900 miles apart.
A couple of months ago he started getting in these bad moods where he wouldn't talk to anyone, including me. This past Sunday, he was suppposed to text me when he got back online. Well when I got back online and realized he had already been and had not texted me(now mind I *always* did this for him....ALWAYS) I texted him and said "thanks for the text". Yes I was a bit irritated. No answer, so I texted again and IM'd him. I figured he'd had another one of those mood swings that were so frequent lately and he was just blowing me off. Turns out this particular time he was on the phone with his mother from Puerto Rico. How was I supposed to know that? He actually asked me if I had lost my mind. Now two days go by and he won't talk to me. Tuesday I get what I call "a dear john" e-mail saying he's quitting gaming and that his Mom is coming and thanks for the friendship, it really meant a LOT..and in all caps "THANKS FRIEND FOR THE TIMES WE HAD" and that was pretty much it. He did text me once and tell me we would talk soon, but I haven't heard anything from him since. I'm trying not to be a stalker and not text him or pm him in the new server he went to in game. Yes, he left me right where I was, even in game, though I know where he is, but I dont' think he knows that.
I don't get this. I am heartbroken. Oh and btw, I did apologize for interrupting his call with his Mom several times but did explain since he had gotten good at being in a bad mood and not answering texts, that how was I supposed to know.
I dunno, but this is like the worst kind of breakup. It's hard NOT to text him, NOT to call him, NOT to e-mail him but it seems that is what he wants. A little closure would have been nice.
Any advice to this heartbroken lady?
Answer hi rose,
thanks for your email...
i know this is hard for you to understand but ive been where you are and yes it hurts. though my situation was a little different the hurt is the same. i understand you want closure and it would be nice if he would be upfront with you about the reason he wanted to end it, at least you would know even if its not what you want to hear.
in some ways i think its best that this happened, if he is a moody person, your never going to change that and who wants to walk around on egg shells, not being able to say how you feel in case you say the wrong thing. i feel its a blessing indisguise.
also, if he isnt honest with you, i wouldnt want to be with him at all. you deserve someone who you can trust and be honest with you.
maybe in the future he will email you and let you know why he did what he did or maybe not which in both cases you need to move on and learn from this experience. remember not all men are like this and there is someone out there for you.
