Aboutvanessaoz Expertise I love helping people and and some may say that I am a very chatting and friendly person. I can offer advice to people who are in long distance or a different cultural online relationship as I have experienced both. I know how hard it can be and how heartbreaking it can be but I also know how rewarding they can be.
i live in australia so depending where you live my time frame for answering may differ but i will try to answer within 24 hours of receiving your question.
Experience I have experience with online relationships and having friends who are in one or have had them, I know the highs and lows that can come from being in one, especially long distance. I have been online for five years and met many people from different cultures.
Question QUESTION: Hi, thanks for taking the time out to help me. I'm so confused! Here goes... I met this man on MySpace Karaoke. We are both singers. He left a really nice compliment about my singing so I requested him as a friend. He accepted and said I was the best female singer he's heard on there and he would love to be my friend and to tell him about myself. So I did and we've been talking just about everyday through messaging for a little over a month. I was telling him I wanted to hear more songs from him because he hadn't recorded in a while and he said his heart wasn't into it because of family problems, so I said I was sorry he was having problems and that I can relate. The next day he recorded three songs. In one of the songs he said my name at the beginning, but I dont think that means much because he also said a couple other names. Then he told me "if you notice, I said your name at the beginning". I told him I was glad his heart was back in the music and he said "because of you!". Heart melts. lol. I mean, guys dont say that to girls they just consider a friend... right? Then my best friend requested him as a friend to "check him out" for me and he told her he would add her because she was my friend and he thinks I have a heart of gold and am the sweetest person hes talked to in a while. He mixes music and said hes going to put me as the lead singer in one of his songs and post it on his profile. He hasn't done that for anybody else. And I notice that compared to other women when they comment, he responds to me the most. Then, today he asked me what I did over the weekend and I said all I did was babysit. He said "you should go out from time to time. its good for the soul." and I didnt want him to think I had no life so I said "I DO go out. Geesh I dont want you to think Im at home ALL the time!" He wrote me back and said he was just concerned so I thought I might have offended him and I appologized for my sarcastic sense of humor and he sent me this message: "I'm too kick back to notice!Just know,I do read your comments and remember whats said.I try to be aware.....Dan". I have no idea what he meant by the comment thing. lol. He lives in TX and I am in TN. He's 40 and I'm 24... and he has a son my age. Just thought that info was important. I don't want to get too worked up about it. I'm just so confused because even though he says all these sweet things, I am always the one who initiates the messages/conversation. It makes me feel really bad that he doesnt ever contact me first. But he does always respond. I thought about not contacting him for a week and seeing what happens. How can I tell if he likes me as more than a friend?????
ANSWER: hi cathy,
thanks for your email.....
you are really still getting to know him still as it hasnt been that long since you met online. i wouldnt be in a hurry to get into a relationship with him until you know him better. i would say that he has many friends online and might use the same line on them as he uses on you.
the fact that you are initiating all the convos ( even though he does reply ) doesnt feel right to me. i would say the has a fun and busy time online.
the fact he is wooing you with nice words and compliments to keep you interested in him may not last for long, he seems experienced in this kind of talk and i would be careful giving out too much private info about yourself until you have more trust in him.
the age difference worries me but you are an adult, but just be careful.
the more time you spend with him the more you will know if he likes you more then a friend. once you find out what you both have in common and find that you trust him and have no doubts that he is being honest with you, only then, will you be able to move on further to develop this relationship.
dont be afraid to ask questions..if he is the real deal he will open up to you...
good luck
vanessaoz
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QUESTION: OK, and one more thing... do you think I should try not contacting him for a while and see what happens?
Answer hi again cathy,
i would not make contact with him at the moment and just see what happens. sometimes absence makes the heart grow stronger. if you really cant wait, then send a short email saying something like. hope your ok, havnt heard from you in a while. i wouldnt get into to much conversation in the email.
