How to Have an Online Relationship/scammers are invading my mom
QUESTION: Hi Marlene,
I am 32 and recently met a wonderful man online and well after seeing how happy and in love we are my mother joined match.com and has had quite a few men instantly fall in love with her. a few of which we are more then sure are scammers but she is still talking to them and won't listen to me when i tell her to block them. now this new guy from Florida has only talked to for maybe a week is planning to come to Arizona with his 16 yr old daughter and she keeps talking about bringing him to her house and stuff which i think is a very bad idea! she wont listen to me when i tell her she needs to be careful and is taking all this attention as good things but these men are moving way to fast for my liking. i keep telling her she needs to just start out by going on actual dates instead of falling for these instant love schemes but the more i try to protect her the more information she keeps from me. I should also add that this is not the first time, she just got out of an 8yr relationship with a fraud she quickly moved in with and has finally realized he was just using her and has drained all her savings and left her with foreclosure and bankruptcy. i just don't know what to do but also want her to find the right man and am having trouble letting go of the past to let her make her own decisions. i feel like i am the parent of a nieve teenage girl. what can i do to help her realize that she is in over her head? or should i just step back and let her own mistakes?
ANSWER: Hello Moe,
You are absolutely right in trying to warn your Mother about this guy! Bringing anyone to your home, until you really get to know them, us definitely a bad idea and for this guy to suggest doing so tells me alot about his character.
Has he asked her for money? No doubt he will, especially if he thinks he met someone who is lonely, has a bank account or believes what he is telling her about wanting to come to see her with his 16-yr old daughter.
"Google" his name and see if anything comes up. A lot of scammers have been named on the Internet; however, that doesn't stop them from using another name/e-mail address.
I would keep talking to your Mom about this and explain to her how concerned you are and just how dangerous this situation is.
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QUESTION: thank you for your response, i was starting to feel like maybe i should just back off but i am just so worried about her. I don't know if he has asked her for anything yet but am waiting for that to happen. after searching for more scammer info I am starting to think she has been put on a contact list because she had said something about suddenly getting emails from all sorts of guys, all profess love quickly, some claim to be from Germany or Ireland and have heavy accents, most are widowed, and either are going on a trip or are deployed, just red flags all around! one she was really caught up on was supposedly in Baghdad in the army and had asked her for an iphone 5 and a top of the line laptop for Christmas, she didn't do it but she tried to hide it from me and when i found out i flipped and sent him a text telling him he doesn't fool me and to back off, at that point she was breaking it off with him and i caught him trying to pull the suicide card and then saying he was going to put $ in her account. as far as i know she is done with him but apparently still tries to contact her and prove he is not a fraud. anyway i could go on and on but point is she is really scaring me. i just don't want her to get hurt.
oh, and then there is this other one who she was supposed to meet but then he had to go away on business so instead he sent his assistants wife to meet her and give her some food he had made, now she is going to pick him up at the airport next week and mentioned bringing him to her house after. this one may be legit i guess, have you heard of any story similer to that?
Here is a list of signs you may be dealing with a scammer. You might share this with your Mom to let her know you are very concerned because of how much you care for her.
* They like to send poems or love letters, most of which can be traced back to lovingyou.com, sometimes they even forget to change the name on the poem or letter to match the name of the person they are e-mailing.
* They immediately want the person's address so they can send flowers, candy, and teddy bears, often purchased with stolen credit cards.
* They claim to be in love immediately or within 24-48 hours.
* They may give out a phone # but it is typically a calling card or a call center, can rarely can be reached on the phone.
* They claim to be from the US but are overseas, or going overseas mainly to Nigeria, sometimes the UK for business or family matters.
* A majority of them claim to have lost a spouse, child, and/or parent in a horrific traffic accident or airplane accident or any of the above are sick or in the hospital.
* They tend to ask you to send them cell phones and laptops.
* They will ask to end them money or open an account for them in your name, often in Wells Fargo Bank.
* They will ask for your bank account information
* They will often claim they are in the hospital and the doctor will not perform the necessary operation unless you send the money.
* They claimed to have been mugged and have no money and are being held hostage in the hotel and are not being allowed to leave until the bill is paid, often they will let you talk to the "hospital manager" who will verify the story.
These are the most used signs online scammers try and use on their victim.
As far as the person stating he is going to send his assistant's wife; he is a scammer!
I sincerely hope this helps! Please stay involved with what your Mom is doing as far as this situation.