How to Have an Online Relationship/boyfriend is self-conscious.


So my boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship which means we rely on skype, phone calls and texting to keep in contact.Since we can't physically be together sometime on Skype we have special moments where we share our bodies to eachother over webcam. The problem I've been having is that recently my boyfriend has stopped initiating these sessions and when I confronted him about it he said that lately he's been feeling less than confident about his body. He told me it had nothing to o with me and i'm still very attractive to him. He just said he wants to wait until he is more confident with himself. I've reassured him many times that i love his body just as it is. I'm not sure what to do from here because he always thinks i get disappointed when he says no, which is not true. What are some things I can do to help him?

Hello Jen,

Nice to see you stopping by and dropping a word. Appreciate your gesture in going ahead discussing your issue, which clearly shows how much you serious about your relationship and you leaving no stone unturned to sustain it. I value and respect such people and would hop your relationship would surely strengthen with time.

Regards to issue you are facing, when it's long distance relationship and that too online, it takes an effort to keep the bonding and comfort zone going. True you guys would be emotionally involved and physical closeness, does bring people more closer and bonded. Since you both trust each other and involved, it does make sense to spice up your relationship in one way or another and make sure even though you guys distant apart, you do make each other feel desirable and special, sitting miles away.

At times, it's seen that guys are normally insecure, when they find that either the girl is too much beautiful or well above their personality or she is more financially stable than them. In your case, it seems more of following cases:

1) Either you are quite pretty for him and he feels that he is average looking and doesn't match your personality. If that's the case, then you need to reassure him that you chose him for his communication skills, the ways he makes you feel wanted and special.
2) Either, he feels that your physical urge is quite high and you get quite intimate and over driven and he can't match your speed or physically strong to endure for longer time. If this is the case, you need to may be slower down, ask him how does he wanna go ahead, make him feel that you wanna be captivated, dominated and you ready to go the way he desires physically, to give him a  boost and a man loves when a gal submits her body in a man's arms.
3) Either he is not too much in physical stuff, and if you talk the same stuff every day or more often, he might feel odd or not able to give his best, which makes him feel down and out.
4) Worst case may be, he is seeing signs of wearing down and may be looking some excuses to make you feel that he is not worthy of you, leading to some hard steps, which you shouldn't be thinking at this stage, in my view.

In nutshell, when a man is insecure, it really at times gets tough for a woman to make him feel secure, unless actions or wordings go his way. Your wordings would soothe him only when you physically present with him, but online, you would have to go by his likings for the stage, where he gets back normal and makes things work himself.

All the very best !!

Best regards,
Relationship Counselling
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How to Have an Online Relationship

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I am quite experienced and matured enough to handle questions related to following topics: 1) Love- Friendship 2) Issues in all kinds of relationships. 3) making a relationship work. 4) Effective tips to sustain a relationship. 5) Sex related queries. Well as of now haven't come across any such questions, which would offend me or I lack expertise in, but am a straight forward person and doesn't hold my wordings back. I don't mind being honest in case I lack knowledge about particular aspect and quite flexible to accept genuine views of others or seek other professionals for my case studies, to help the clients out.


Well I have been doing online counseling through my own blog for past two years. I have got good response throughout, which has motivated me in going ahead and helping people in their relationship issues and bring a smile back on people's face. I don't say that am a professional in this area, but well sufficient enough to contribute in the aspect of Modern Day Relationships.

I have been an IT professional throughout my work experience of 8+ years associated with IT MNC's like IBM, Infosys Technologies to name few. I have conducted effective counseling sessions for different corporates I have worked with in my private capacity and contributed effectively to employees striking quite a balance in work and personal life.

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