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How to Have an Online Relationship/International LDR Advice precautions and family


Hi April, I am 23 and live in the UK, I'm really not at all into social media however I only have a couple of them for posting my artwork only, so was not expecting to have feelings for someone over it. At the time I was in a 6 year relationship and was unhappy with how it was going. I met this guy from Samoa who began commenting on my artwork pics with advice/ compliments and we began online chatting because we found that we had a lot in common. At first, it was just friendly, but as I got to know him and his interests I realised how little my boyfriend and I had in common anymore. I finally had the courage to end my relationship with my boyfriend and confided in my online friend and we both admitted we had feelings for each other even though we both felt stupid for it. We have been talking for a few months now, usually over an app on our phones where we can talk, text, video cam and send each other photos and videos anytime of the day. We have spoken everyday since we met and decided to enter into an exclusive relationship with each other. Recently we have spoken about meeting up next year to find out if our feelings are true face to face, however I don't want to worry my parents and take precautions at the same time. We are not sure who is going to be doing the travelling yet. Is there any advice you can give me about how to approach my parents about this as I don't want to worry them and what to be careful of when the time comes to meet with him? Many thanks.

Hi Jade,

A few things just so I can be clear and answer your question about furthering your Online LDR.

How long have you two been emailing in your long distance international relationship?

How old is the man in Samoa? Or is he Samoan but living somewhere in the UK?  (That was unclear to me when cite that he is "from Samoa.")

Can he afford to travel to you to meet you in public in a location (like a restaurant) where your parents are also present?

Is he in University?  What does he plan to do professionally?  In Samoa or in the UK?

You're right at the college dating advice age range.  What about you? Are you working?  Are you in graduate studies for a profession?  Or...?

Feelings alone are not sufficient foundation for a real in person relationship, if that is what you seek.  Or do you both just want something casual for now with being only 23 years old?  (Nothing wrong with that.  Both are fine.  Just know what you want so you don't waste the mental and emotional energy.)  

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April Braswell


As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd edition. As a professional seminar speaker to singles about using online dating and other social media sites, I help singles to stay safe while pursuing the online soul mate in cyber dating space while in Web 2.0 world.


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