How to Have an Online Relationship/More than friendship?


Dear April,
I am 18 years old and I have known this guy I met on the internet for 6 months now. We both live on different countries but the borderline between our countries are two hours away. We've only met once. We skype every week now that I'm busy with my first year in university.
We've close friends since the beggining but probably after 3 months I started realizing his attitude was somehow...flirtish. 4 months and I realized he has feelings for me but he didnt tell me anything yet. on the 5th month I began to have feelings for him too. so after that we told each how we felt, only we decided t be friends who has matual feelings. Just in case, if we meet other people. I went on a trip to China for 4 weeks. When I came back. my feelings are no longer there. He on the  other hand seemed to be more...non-friendish and more boyfriend-ish. He's already having personal issues lately and Im afraid of telling him now about how I feel. Which is basically a friend only. How and when can I tell him that? I really value him as a friend. A close friend.

Hi Hana,

Great college dating question!  Thank you for asking it.

Indeed, when you are 18 years old or so and attending college or university, many single men and women quickly develop and undevelop romantic feelings for each other.  Often, these feelings are so short lived that they just becoming passing flirtations.

So, from what you said about what you two agreed upon, it seems there is no direct need to say anything to your friend.  The two of you have agreed to date other people and consider relationships with others, that yours is a friendship relationship.  Until he is asking you out on date weekly and aiming to court you, there really is no need to articulate anything more.  Let the man pursue.  If his romantic interest courtship feelings ever develop further where he wants to propose a committed relationship with you, then you can consider his suit at that time.  Should that never happen, that's fine.

For now, just keep the relationship as a friendship and stress to him how much you value his friendship.  It's normal that even between friends there can exist a little teasing flirtation.  That's part of what makes life fun.

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April Braswell


As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd edition. As a professional seminar speaker to singles about using online dating and other social media sites, I help singles to stay safe while pursuing the online soul mate in cyber dating space while in Web 2.0 world.


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