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How to Have an Online Relationship/How to get a woman's attention online


Hello April,

So there's a girl I'd like to get to know online - we follow each other on Twitter and she is also a connection on Linkedin. We've had exchanged a few direct messages on Linkedin (as you know they are not very long). She didn't reply to a previous msg but I think that's since she's not very often on Twitter.  I don't want to approach her via Linkedin with dating mindset as it is mainly for professional use and it's advised against on most online literature.

That said, we are in same line of work and maybe there's a chance to get to know her professionally then personally.  I'm just wondering how to go about approaching her?

Any advice, much appreciated,


Hi Steve,

A few things.  You are absolutely right, you want to be professional and tactful at LinkedIn where I've been since 2006 and treat your contacts professionally.  

Let me ask you, how did you manage to connect with her at LI without having her contact information?  Pretty much, once you are a 1st level contact at that professionals social networking site, you have their personal email address as well as possibly a phone number.

That said, at both Twitter ( and LinkedIn, they encourage meeting up and networking together.  In twitter parlance, that's a TweetUp. Make your overtures professional.  "I'm interested in becoming better acquainted with my LI network.  Could we meet for drinks or a coffee?"  Then suggest doing so at a very classy venue such as whatever is your local equivalent of "The Four Seasons."  Avoid just meeting at Starbucks.  Right now it's filled with the unemployed, teens, and soccer moms.  You want a classy and professional ambiance.  And then buy her coffee very nonchalantly, "My treat."

While you two are working out the details of meeting for professional networking, you can then appropriately exchange phone numbers.  Give her your phone number in your message as you as for hers.  It's 100% appropriate to exchange numbers then because when you are planning to meet, if anything should occur en route, she gets caught on the freeway behind an accident, she can at least text you a quick note, "I'll be there in 10 minutes once the accident traffic clears."  It polite and professional.

And then be circumspect and professional at the meeting and flirt with her just a very little bit.  Don't be too overt.  You invited her for professional reasons.  Don't pull a bait and switch least she become very uncomfortable.  

Then towards the end of your meeting, tell her in a very genuine way, "I'm so glad we got to meet.  I just find you so appealing and attractive.  You're such a beautiful, interesting, and intelligent woman." Something to that affect, of course, in your own words.

Before you actually ask her on a date, once you make that small declaration, allow her to respond just a little as well.  "I'm so flattered.  But I already have a boyfriend." Or something like that.

If she remotely encourages you, then man up and ask her out.  

Either way, thank her for meeting you.  See if there is anything you can do professionally to extend and support her professional network.  Do you know of any business mixers you could invite her to join you at?  An alumni event from your alma matter where she could accompany you to gain access to them?  

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April Braswell


As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd edition. As a professional seminar speaker to singles about using online dating and other social media sites, I help singles to stay safe while pursuing the online soul mate in cyber dating space while in Web 2.0 world.


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As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd edition. CBS Radio Las Vegas GateHouse Media In Touch Weekly Boston Globe Kansas City Star Women's World

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