AboutRabbi Ari Shishler Expertise I am the rabbi of my own shul, the learning director at Chabad House of Johannesburg, a high school teacher and the father of young children. As you can imagine, I get to answer lots of questions every day.
I'd be glad to answer your questions on Judaism, Jewish spirituality and practice.
Experience I have been a practicing Orthodox rabbi since 1997 and have headed my own community since 1999.
I teach Talmud at a religious high school in Johannesburg and give daily lectures to adults on Jewish practice, spiritualty, Chassidic philosophy and Kabbalah.
I'm the campus rabbi at our two major universities in Johannesburg.
Organizations Chabad-Lubavitch
South African Rabbinical Association.
Publications Jewish Tradition, South Africa. Jewish Report, weekly newspaper, South Africa SAUJS annual Holiday guide.
Education/Credentials After completing high scool, I spent six years studying in Rabbinical seminaries in South Africa, Israel and New York.
I have written to you before with regards to the problems associated with intermarriage. I know everyone thinks their situation is unique and I am biased toward my own in this regards. Please help me to find a solution to this problem.
I am a male who is bound by no church. I feel that I live by the Noahide laws and that I respect and believe in the one and only omnipotent God. I do not steal, nor do I commit murder. I believe in love and not in lust. In the torah, it says that any man can earn themselves a place in the presence of God by living a good life according to these laws. One does not need to convert to Judaism in order to live in eternal paradise.
I love a Jewish girl with all my heart and I have full intention to marry her and love her for the rest of life. I want to respect her Jewish traditions and make her culture in the home, my own. Our children would still be Jewish due to her passing the gene biologically. We would live a Jewish life and both be granted access to God at the end of our lives. God loves all of us equally, why can we not choose to share our lives together?
Answer Hi Ricky
I can see that you are grappling with this issue, which is quite common for a person in your situation.
You are definitely correct about the Noahide Code is the moral system for all people to follow and that anyone who keeps these laws has a meaningful relationship with G-d and a place in Heaven.
Unfortunately, that has little to do with your situation. Jews are expected to follow a more complex set of 613 laws that are outlined in the Torah. A Jew who merely keeps the Noahide Code is unfulfilled and does not gain a piece of Heaven. Part of the trouble with an intermarriage is trying to determine what spiritual/ religious system your children should follow. It's easy to say that you will allow them to be free to follow the religion that they choose, but children follow their parents' example. An intermarried couple sends mixed religious messages to their children, making it tough for those children to choose a spiritual path for themselves. Intermarried couples intend to either choose to bring their children up following a certain religious standard to to follow none at all. But, religion is a strange thing and people often feel a greater need for religion in their lives as they or their children grow older than they may do in the early years of marriage. This is when the conflict begins.
Intermarriage is a complex situation and there is much to say on the topic. Unfortunately, many, many intermarriages fail. I would suggest you take a look at this link for an interesting look at intermarriage and its issues:http://tinyurl.com/yzjv5ga.
Please feel free to stay in touch and, as I offered last time, if you'd like to meet and chat, I will gladly make time for you and your girlfriend.
