Orthodox Judaism/Forgiveness


I'm not a Jew sadly, but still find the religion beautiful.

I'm seeking to know why I have such an overwhelming urge to forgive my girlfriend. She's very childish and selfish, so why do I feel the urge to forgive and reconcile?

Hello Raul,
I think the answer to this truly transcends religious or cultural barriers. I don't know what your girlfriend did that may or may not be forgivable - but i believe I know why you have the urge to just go back to the way things were before the falling out. It is because as human beings we seek comfort and we do not like change. We are willing to pretend things that happened didn't happen, and the facts we observed were not really facts, all because we want to go back to a place where we were happy. But if you know the things that drove you apart are the things you can't live with, the history will repeat itself very quickly. Because the pain remains, and what is done cannot be undone, and what is said cannot be unsaid.

So in your mind and in your heart, you must decide whether the things your girlfriend did were something you can live with long term or not, because they won't go away and be forgotten.  Is she worth that emotional struggle? The answer very well may be "yes". But you need to take responsibility for this decision and accept its consequences.

Hope that helps.

Orthodox Judaism

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Eli Hadar


If you are a Jewish person who has been approached by missionaries and who is considering leaving the Jewish faith, please let me know and I will help you see how beautiful and moreover how right the Jewish religion is. Don't leave the truth of your fathers before you resolve the facts for yourself, and I can help you on that journey.


I have been involved in counter-missionary activity for several years, counseling many Jews who have left or have considered leaving Judaism having been attracted by other religions. I have been able to show the truth to these people through the correct reading of the texts (vs. deliberately wrong translations used by missionaries), through showing how missionaries manipulate the Jewish scriptures to achieve their goals, and through helping you rediscover the beauty and truth of authentic Judaism.

Chabad synagogue in Atlanta

Largely self-taught, I still am and will be learning for a long, long time. I have educated myself through a wealth of resources, including Nachmanides' Disputation, Hyam Maccoby's writings on Christianity and Judaism, as well as such vast resources as Outreach Judaism, Torah Atlanta, and a great number of others.

©2017 About.com. All rights reserved.

[an error occurred while processing this directive]