AboutLabyrinth Expertise I can answer all questions regarding natural spirituality and being a pagan. Being Wicca, Golden Dawn, Shamanist, whatever...is like saying you're Lutheran or Baptist. They are all forms of paganism and all based on natural spirituality. I am Romani (gypsy) and part Lakota (American Indian) and I was raised in natural spiritualism. I am a life path counselor for my group, a ritualist, and a spell weaver. Most of my work consists of guiding people on how to find spiritual peace in a very chaotic material world. Ask me anything.
Experience Romani and Lakota by blood and raised in the old traditions.
High Priestess - Rainbow Moon Clan.
Ordained Christian Minister
Education/Credentials BA Education
BA English
MFA Creative Writing
Greetings to you, how are you hoping you are well. I need your assistance I hope you can help.
Things have moved on a lot and I have found a lot of peace and creativity here in a centre in Somerset where I moved to from my parents if you remember where things were getting a bit heavy.
I have been here three months almost but there are problems with the head woman here her name is shruti, for some reason I feel I upset her, I sing and dance here in nature and do my work with love and have shared my love within the community but for some reason she always finds things to create with me where she can download a lot of her personal frustration and pain onto. When I came here I was meant to work with her int he office but found her mental energy too much for my mainly physical energy to integrate and I felt she was too stressed and had almost drawn me into her space to transmute her fragmentation - why do I always attract this mental intellectual energy that I feel almost destroys me - I came back to you as I remembered this year is about my mother and maybe this woman is reflecting back issues still unresolved around my mother. I feel she is extremely jealous of me and this is becoming qutie toxic to the point where I feel she is on one level trying to get rid of me within the community - she has the physical power to do this but not the spiritual energy and I feel she knows this on one level - I want to stay here but am unsure as to how to proceed now as I feel whatever I do upsets her. I have tried relfecting it back to her with the exercises you have given but am not sure if I should just move on again and shift my focus to something more positive and nourishing. I was hoping to have my daughter here but I honestly feel this woman has a lot of work to do and as long as I am here she will always be on my back so to speak for her to use unload her neurosis to heal herself and name me as the one who has the problem - she really is a nasty peice of work.
I have become quite fit and strong on a physical level so maybe it is time to move on but I had hoped there was the space here for me to be me whilst other people love me here she really does have a problem with me - I also feel she could be reflecting back my sister who I felt had a lot of jealousy towars me also - I was always told that between my mother and my sister it would be best to leave them well alone.
For now I am stuck here financially as for some reason they are not paying me either and have not told me either why they are not paying me even though I have asked so I work a 6 day week for nothing - we all tread on egg shells here in fear of being thrown out a lot of people have left because of the exploitation but still after what I have been through I can say it was bearable but now I realise that she doesnt like me at all. I have also had a love affair with a man called Ankur and the closeness has been healing it is not a serious thing but the woman who runs the place Shruti cares a lot about him even though they are not in a physical relationship, it's like she is his mother I am wondering if she wants to get rid of me to have power over him. I dont feel understood in this community and I dont want to be damaged by anyone again they know I am sensitive but in the name of spirituality they have expoited people and their circumstances in particular this woman and it is evil to see people give in the name of their truth and to be controlled in such a manner she has damaged a lot of people - it seems I attract people like this but when I stick my neck out and confront them I have to move on.
It might be now I have to accept another journey from here although financially this is just not possible but if you have any suggestions I would be so grateful. I have not been able to see my daughter as on the day off I have to rest.
love and blessings to you always and thank you for any suggestions you might have.
with love
Sharon
Answer I am glad to see you moving forward. You need to realize that wherever you go you will find these people. You are highly sensitive, but you must find a way to cope. Seeking out these special places where you can be yourself is wonderful but no matter where you go you will find someone negative or who has problems they'd like to blaim on others. Often times the leader or boss of a place is under a huge amount of stress and this will manifest in their behavior.
All we can do is try to maintain our balance, shield ourselves from the negativity and try to put forth positive energy ourselves. If it is just too much to bear we move on.
If it is really too much then we can withdraw from people but I am not sure that's the best answer.
Have you tried talking directly with this woman?? "Shruti, you seem to be under a lot of pressure, can I help you in some way?" or "You seem to withdraw from me when I am in the office, am I doing something to upset you?" Make it very heplful and concerned in the approach and completely non-threatening. She how she responds.
Always do your 'peace in the world' type rituals just for good measure.
