Pagan/Wiccan Religion/long lack of grief process.

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Question
my father, grandfather, uncle and grandmother have all passed away and due to being on psych meds, i never really grieved for them. now that i have been off of them for a few years i feel the need to grieve, but have no idea how. i have heard of the irish keening and i have read about a type of pagan ritual where you put tears in a cauldron for every one you miss. but i have no idea where to begin or what to do to do this. my father passed when i was 9 a week before my birthday, 17 years ago, my grandfather 14 years ago three weeks before his birthday, and my uncle passed 6 years ago 2 weeks before his birthday and my grandma 6 years ago two weeks after my uncle, but that was a different side of the family. i have shed hardly any tears for this and i have a lot pent up for this. i want to cry, but i honestly forgot how to. i feel i need some type of ritual to bring this up but all my searches online come up empty except for christan rituals i know there is stuff out there for us. i just don't know where to go. i am a pagan, with norse celtic leanings, with some egyptian and hindi thrown in. completely eclectic. i am lost and don't know what to do. please help. i am already in the hands of a therapist and she recommends a ritual to help with the pent up feelings. and i do journal every day. i am just lost on the ritual. its like everyone focuses on life and the positive side of life. no one has dealt with death before. i doubt that. i have been practicing since my father died almost so i can pull all most any thing out of thin air but this it seems. thank you a head of time.

Answer
This is the book you need.  The Pagan Book of LIving and Dying.  

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/listing/2694211053535?cm_mmc=GooglePLA-_-Book-_-Q0

It's a guide for all that you are dealing with.  

Blessings on your journey.

Pagan/Wiccan Religion

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Rev. Amy Blackthorn Ph.D, DD. HPS, RM

Expertise

I teach Wicca 101, 202 and more specific advanced subjects. I can answer questions on several Traditions. I have experience in subjects including, Astrology, Wicca, Folk Magic, and indigenous Religions, including Voudou, Greek and Celtic Reconstruction, Native Herbal uses, Hoodoo and Green Witch Craft. I am a Usui Reiki Master, as well as a trained in several other forms of healing.

Experience

I have 17+ years experience in the above topics, including the Initiatory traditions of Gardnerian Wicca and Green Witchcraft.

Organizations
Maryland Delaware Wiccan Pagan Alliance, Alternative Religions Education Network, Lady Liberty League, Pagan Clergy Association

Publications
My first publication was in "The Seeker Journal" at the age of 16. This was an 18 page in depth look at the similarities between Wiccan holy days and Christian ones.

Education/Credentials
Numerous degrees including one in Horticulture and initiation into different Religious orders, including Susun Weed's and other Pagan Authors, Scholars and Elders.

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