Pagan/Wiccan Religion/My main hurdle.....
I have studied magick for the past twenty years and I have a pretty good grasp of it. I've had spells work before and I KNOW magick is real. One of my greatest abilities is visualization, but it works against me too. Imagery of a very counter productive nature tries and tries to torment me wile I am casting. The horrific images attack with what seems like a willful (and hateful) determination. This can happen until my mood turns to fear, doubt, and the sense of the spell being botched. I know my true intention is what matters, but still..... It almost seems like a part of my psyche that is hell-bent on thwarting my goals.
My question is this: What would be my priorities as far as addressing this? Strengthening certain chakras? Kundalini release to clear blockage (I am not afraid to do that, I've worked with it before)? Past life issues? The potential of an entity being attached to me or someone working against me? Whatever it is it has been with me since age 11, about 29 years. Have you experienced this type of trouble before?
This kind of stuff does botch spells, regardless of intentions.
I have never had this happen to me. And everything I know about Kundalini Release suggests its not a good thing!
Kundalini is not in alignment with the concept of natural spiritual spell work in general. That culture follows very different beliefs and rituals. While it is ok to mix and match to a point, be sure to fit together things that are energy compatible.
Now to address your problem...in the future be sure to do formal and complete cleansing, both real - like mopping the floor and dusting - and spiritual - like scrubbing yourself with salt in the shower, smudging and altar dedication, before every single ritual you do. At least until we fix this. When you spell cast, hold the positive imagery and concentrate on your intents for as long as you can but the VERY SECOND that image blurs and becomes negative stop, ground, and quit. Work to lengthen your sessions but do it slowly and never fight these images, just stop immediately. This means instead of a full blown hour of energy generation one night to get a spell done you may have to do it for ten minutes every night for 13 days. You may have to change the type of ritual you use to accommodate this style of ritual.
The source of this? Hmmm? I doubt it is possession or you would have many more symptoms than this one. If it is your own psyche, I'd remind you that your mind is the Supreme Commander General of your body. It will do what you tell it to do. This is why I teach my students to never say or even think things like "I am sick and tired" or "this bullshit is going to kill me" because you will be sick and tired and it might kill you. Be very very conscious of what you think and say for awhile. Look for negative thoughts and actions that you may be doing unconsciously. Do you have spiteful feelings towards people? Are you a jealous woman? Do you feel guilty for not spending enough time with your family? Do you get angry easily? These are all very negative emotions and they generate negative energy.
Give these things a try. Keep me informed. Feel free to send more questions for clarification.