Panic Disorders/Attacks/Anxiety and Panic
Hello. I am 22 years old. My problems with my anxiety/panic/fear have become much worse lately. I live in an apartment with my mom and dad and sister. The neighbors around me are loud, but especially at night when I am trying to sleep. I hear the noises in the walls and I immediately begin to panic and I can't breath. I get sick and have vomited a lot. I tell my parents that I am just sick or I ate something that made me sick. I don't tell them about my problem of being afraid because I don't want to scare them or have them worry.
In the past, I had a neighbor who lived across from me who I heard beating her child. I was 20 when this happened. They are now gone, but every noise I hear now reminds me of her and how scary of a neighbor this lady was. This was a very traumatic experience for me and I suffered my very first full-blown panic attack, which scared my parents.
Now because of that situation, I now think that all of the people around me are bad. If I hear the kids above me bouncing a ball during the day, I begin to get sick and can't breath. I think they are intentionally making these sounds to scare me and to bring on my anxiety. My thoughts are the worst. I think negatively and fearfully all the time because I feel that this panic and my anxiety will never go away.
I have some hobbies, but apparently they are not enough to keep me from thinking horrible thoughts all the time. I don't have a social life and I work from home. I am too afraid to get a better job outside of my home that would make more money because people scare me.
I don't have a driver's license. I am afraid to go to the DMV to get my temporary to learn to drive because I am afraid the people there will scare me and make me cry.
My family and I can't move away into a house because we don't have enough money. And the weekends are the worst because the neighbors stay up very late at night and make noise and I get very sick and panic because of their music playing or the sounds in the walls. I can't complain against them because my family and I are afraid the neighbors will know we complained against them and they will come after us or key our cars or something much worse. I feel very trapped. I would like to try to cure myself naturally and not through prescription medication or doctors. Any help you can give me is very appreciated. Thank you very much for your time.
After reading your question it is apparent to me that your fears and panic are quite serious and not at the level I believe that you will be able to easily if at all be able to cope with them yourself naturally as you say. I sense that you have aspects of post traumatic stress disorder perhaps due to your past experiences. I have a page on my website which talks more about this condition here
as to what you can do, well after reading your question my gut feeling is that you really do need some professionally help. Now this is not in an y way something you should be afraid of. In fact it is the most sensible thing you can do for yourself.
I understand that you may not want to go down the route of medications and this can be discussed with your doctor. At the end of the day you are in charge of your own health and no one can force you into anything.
your doctor may refer you to some form of counseling and I feel that this would be benefit you the most.
My web site provide information for all sorts of self help techniques you can start yourself but i really do thing that on top of those you should seek some more professional help.
Also the more you hide your condition from those who care for you around you the worse you will make your condition. believe me I did this myself when i was younger and for me it ended up with a nervous break down.
take a look through my site to see if there are some measures you can take to start to help yourself. but do seek some help from your doctor. be frank with them and explain everything to them. If what they recommend is not what you want to do, tell them and ask for alternatives. medication is not the only route sometimes it can help in the early days for some.
I wish you all the best. Don't feel alone because you certainly aren't. Take that all important first step and talk to your parents, then take the next step and speak to your doctor.
best wishes Kate