QUESTION: To start off I was bullied allot in school. My high school years were me being shunned. I had no friends my week ends and nights were always spent alone. I was told that people hated me because I talked allot. It's now a year after high school and I hate my self, I am always depressed and I have suicidal thoughts. I have anxiety around everyone because am scared there going to tell me to shut up or there just going to ignore me like am a ghost. I have an amazing boyfriend and he does everything to help me but am still sad. Very very sad. I have a best friend now in my new town but I can't even call her when am sad because I feel that am not important even though she tells me to all the time. I also suffer from chronic pain because of osteoporosis at the age of 18. Life seems to be hopeless. I have the lowest self esteem, I was told that I was ugly and fat through out high school and junior high. Which is ridiculous because am a model but I just believed it and now I can't even look at pictures of my self with out thinking that am ugly. So what I need to know is will this stop will I feel better one day? Or will I always be sad? What can I do?
Sorry for bothering you
I love that name by the way! It sounds to me like a POSSIBLE case of depression. Whether your depression is clinical or not, I would not know. The best thing you can do about that (if you have not yet done it) is see a doctor.
As far as you being Fat and Ugly???? Seriously??? If you are a "model", I can not imagine that you are either fat OR ugly. You probably do not see the person that the camera does...LOL
I do know that being bullied is a big deal! Can you talk to your parents about how you feel? Also, as far as your low self esteem, if you think you have that.... I have often reccomended that people take an acting class. That will usually get you out of being shy or having low self esteem.
There are so many things that you can do with your life. Even if someone Was really fat and really ugly. It is the inside of us that really matters. I was bullied when I was in school also. I hated it. I never could stand up for myself. After a while, it made me decide not to take any crap from anyone and I got stronger. I was determined not to be a doormat for people to walk on. I got my self confidence built up and that worked for me.
I believe that you need to keep very good care of yourself and find out where you fit in, in life.
If you are young and are feeling depressed and have suicidal thoughts, that is a very serious matter. You need to go to a doctor and maybe take some medicine. Most of the time, with our problems... we can get on a gerbal wheel. We go around and around but... nothing changes. You really need to talk to someone and if possible, tell your mom and dad. Even if it is your sweet boyfriend that helps you to get this all turned around. Remember...the depression is the most important issue right now. You really need to get to a doctor.
I know that you know that already but, I want you to do it. Also, ALWAYS remember this! NEVER beg someone to LOVE you! If you have friends that do not care, then, get new friends...
In other words... you are a good person and you need to believe in yourself.
I am here if you need me. It is very hard sometimes to be on this end and have to try to give the advice since I want so much for you to be Happy and smile!
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QUESTION: I am seeing a counselor right now but I just wanted to get advice from someone else. Being a model is hard, girls are mean and when people find out your a model they try and find anything wrong with you. Seens I have my boyfriend my life has been better but it does not take away all the pain I have felt. Am writing a essay for my university course about the side effects of bulkying. My parents are the ones I want to get away with. There always working and they think getting me anything I want will make me feel better. I was raised by a nanny not by my parents. I love university though, I feel better here and more confident but it's still hard to go out there and be me. Even thought I don't even know who I am, all I know is that I talk alot. Thank you for caring it fells nice that a stranger can care but my own parents just told me to deal with it.
First of all....you are not bothering me...at all. That is why I donate my time on here. I went through about the same thing when I was your age. Except. I was not raised by a nanny. As a matter of fact, I was just the opposite. I had 3 sisters and, we about raised ourselves. My mother was very young (16) when she had her first child. Then by the time she was 22...she had 4 daughters. So, she was so young and obviously not ready for kids that, she became self consumed with herself. Looking back now, I can see that but... it certainly did not help me as I was growing up! Everyone takes it different when they grow up without their mother or fathers attention. I carried that through my whole life until... I finally started dealing with it. I could tell you stories about that subject that would bring tears to your eyes. You need to realize one thing in this life. It is a good life, only if you chose to work hard enough to bring your own happiness. Do not depend on people to bring it to you. Create your own happiness. That does not come from gifts but, out of Love from your heart. Look at your moms past and see why you think she is like she is. Give it some thought. I am sure she loves you but, may not know how to show you, other than gifts.
As far as being a model.... it would not matter what you do in life. You can always find that people are jealous of one thing or another. My daughter is not a model but, she has had this problem for years. I raised her to be very sweet and caring so, she treats them kind, even though the treated her like crap... After a while, they see that she is not only gorgeous outside but, inside also. It just shows :)
You sound very caring and sweet also. "Be a Beacon of light". If you are true in your heart, nobody can put out that fire.
Believe in YOU! And, write me as much as you want. I am here!